Sunday, November 23, 2014

In Which I Rant About My Son and His Wonderful Wife

If you don't want to hear about Root and Chickie, don't read this. Keep your opinions to yourself. Remember, this blog is for me, not you!

I help Root with his taxes every year. They have 2 kids, so they always get a refund. Chickie refuses to have anything to do with this except spend the money- big help, that girl is!

She also LOVES to call the IRS and state to find out just how soon the money will be available to pass through her fingers. So much so, she caused the state to hold back their refund and want more info. I told her to get the info together- i.e. make a list of donations- and I would help the take care of this. This was back in May. She still hasn't done it.

Now their lack of action has caused the IRS to question their refunds and want extra money for 2011. My son asked me to help. I told him what I needed. He told me all their important papers are all tossed together in a couple of boxes in the garage. No surprise.

His wife works the night shift and gets off at 8:00 in the morning. She farts around all day, buying crap fro Facebook resale sites. The kids get home at 3:30 and she goes to bed once they get home. My son cooks dinner when he gets home. She wakes up about 8:30, eats and runs off to work. She doesn't clean, she doesn't cook, she doesn't watch her kids. But she claims she has no time because she is so BUSY! Yeah, busy spending money.

My son was going to come over today and we were going to work on the taxes. But now he doesn't have tie to come over because HE HAS TO CLEAN THE HOUSE!!!! He works 11 hours a day after getting up early with the kids and getting them breakfast before seeing them off to school. She just runs around all day.

Why the heck can't she clean? Why can't she learn to cook? She's the one who demanded a nice gourmet kitchen. I guess she thinks a nice kitchen will cook for her.

I think my son is leaving her after the holidays. As much as I hate to admit it, I will be glad. I will miss the kids, but I hate seeing him tied down to such a gadabout.

One thing I hate to bring up is the fact that someone from our church asked me where their new house was located. She asked because she said she sees Chickie's car all the time at the house where they rented a few rooms from this weird dude. I told her where they live now and how they moved in June, and she said Chickie's car is over there everyday until about 2:00. She asked me if I thought Chickie was having an affair with the guy. I told her I had no idea. But now that I think about it, it is rather strange to move your family into the home of someone you found on Craigslist! I mean, DUH, Craigslist killer! If they are doing the funky monkey together, they were doing it when they were renting rooms, probably before. He drove a school bus and was home from 9:00 until 2:00, the times the students were in school. The times Chickie was off. I hate to think about them laying up together. I have no proof of this but it does make you think.

Monday, November 17, 2014

I'm still here!

I am still here, I just have had a lot of things come up lately: a disability hearing, a malfunction in the tire sensors in my car that scared the crap out of me, and I have started picking up the occasional baby-sitting gig. I feel 14 again.

I am just feeling overwhelmed. Plus someone used my bank card to order $200.00 worth of Vera Bradley purses. I was all for making a police report and letting the police work on it, but the people at Vera Bradley just shrugged it off and are going to put my money back. So I have numbers running through my head like nobody's business.

I am also trying to plan Thanksgiving dinner. We aren't doing the traditional turkey, we are doing bar-be-que with every fixing known to man. Ummmmm, pork is it!

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Take A Break

Ghosts and Such

I wish I was 8 years old again, getting ready to dress up to go trick-or-treating.

I wish I had the excitement and anxiety I felt as I thought of the scares and treats I would receive. I wish i was mentally planning my route, so as to get the maximum amount of delicious candy.

Skip the old lady who gives out carob, go to the old guy in the wheelchair whose maid in a stiff white uniform would give out big bags of candy, served from a silver tray.

Fill up my BIG plastic pumpkin, run by the house to empty it, then go out for round 2.

Then when I was older, getting and joints when I would take my little sister out because she was to small to go out by herself.

I wish I was eight again.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Another View

Bobo and I were asked to go see the kids. When we got there, our lovely DIL took our birthday gift, opened it, thanked us, then ran off to another commitment. Which I don't mind, we had time to talk to our son privately. My son isn't sure how long he is going to stay married to her. They just moved in August into a big fancy house and are already a month behind. I wonder how long they will stay there. He says he's tired of fitting and also she spends money as fast as she can get her hands on it. I'm tired now and ready to sleep. More later.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

What I Did Was Stupid

I did a stupid thing when I stopped blogging for a month over an idiotic comment someone left for me.

They have no idea what has been done to me because I don't post everything here. All I can say is if someone knew the whole story, they would feel ashamed for leaving that comment.

So now no one reads my blog. Well done, asshole!

I want to blog more. I know that some of my favorite bloggers stopped posting and I always wonder why they stopped and I wonder what they are doing now.

Well, I'm back to writing again and hope something I say will be important to someone. If not, at least it is important to me!

In other news, Bobo found a job but then before he could begin, the company decided on a hiring freeze. Then we got notice that his disability hearing is finally coming up, so we are going that route. There is no guarantee the job will ever actually materialize. The extra money for disability will come in handy.  I am hoping he gets approved.

I have been working on my flower beds, getting them ready for the fall. I don't want kids to trip over the mess while they are coming to my house for trick-or-treat. My seathorn buckberry tree has disappeared in all the overgrown weeds, but I have a few more seeds to start next spring.

I also got a surprise with some seeds I did plant. I got them through a seed swap I found on the Internet. I always send a dozen watermelon seeds in exchange for whatever they are offering. What I got was something that is illegal. It was growing like a weed, and I hated to pull the plants and shove them down the garbage disposal.  But that's better than going to jail! I just wish everything I planted would come up and grow as easily as this grew! I hope the people who sent the seeds enjoy their watermelons!

I have a huge bag of seed packets and I hope to be able to use a bunch of them next year. My yard will be very colorful if I do. I also want to grow some grapevines. I love grapevines. You can play with the vines but they have a mind of their own.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Is it Monday?

I slept all day, actually since Friday at 7:00. I had some funky sinus thing, I kept sneezing and coughing and I had a headache.

Similarly, I cancelled my  doctor's appointment tomorrow.

Why? My car tags expired at the end of September. I was stupidly looking at the inspection sticker which is due October 23, not looking at the tag which is expired. My doctor is in a low crime area, just a long way from my house. I didn't want to risk getting a ticket that would cost what my tags would cost, so I will go later.

I have money coming from ebay but they hold the money forever when you sell something. I will just get my tags when I get my check. I haven't driven a lot, just to the post office and grocery store. I guess my butt will have to stay home for another week.

My co-pay is only $5.00, but the ticket would be almost $200. So I will stay home and fester.

I need more money. I will run out of ebay fodder soon.

I need Lottery-sized Jackpot money.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

What's the frequency, Kenneth?

There is nothing on TV. I guess I will have to check out my Internet provider's website and watch some old episodes of Emergency!

I didn't make a ham.

Friday, October 3, 2014

What will I do this week-end?

I think I am going to cook a ham. It's a versatile food, I can make family-style dinners or sandwiches. It's not a celebration but hey, why not? It should last all week-end, maybe longer.

Saturday night, the church I attend is having a Food Truck Rodeo after services. I am still lukewarm on the church, but I checked one of the trucks out online. I have picked out what I am going to eat if I go. I might just stay home and eat ham.

One of my friends is having a party, selling something, 31 I think. I might go, I just can't buy anything. But she gets points for the number of guests, so why not?

I need to clean out my closet and get rid of things too big. It will make getting dressed so much easier. I have been doing it a few garments at a time, but that's not working. I need a few uninterrupted hours., vs. 5 minutes once in a while.

I need to return some overdue library books. Ooooops!

What are you doing this week-end?

I'm a bad penny!

I quit writing her because someone. left a nasty comment. But they were wrong, and I'm not going to let them drive me away. They can shove their comment up their ass and go to Hell. 

I am going to write about my mother. I have missed her. Her favorite show growing up was "The Patty Duke Show" and it comes on every morning. I watch the 2 episodes and I cry for my mother. I see what she wished for in the characters.

My mother had Alzheimer's. She passed away due to renal failure last year. She lived with my evil half-sister who took advantage of getting her social security checks. When my mother died on the 25th of Feb., my sister said if she had known she wouldn't get the check for that month, she would have put her on life support for 3 days. She also kept getting checks for 7 months after my mother's death and Social Security caught on, so she is paying it back now. 

She went from having a Hummer and eating out every night to having the Hummer repoed- or possessed- and filing bankruptcy and giving up her house. She now lives in a tiny rental. You can't convince me she didn't use my mom's check for her own crap. I insisted on no life support because it was my mother's wish. She also wanted to be buried in pajamas and socks, like she was sleeping. But my sister had her tarted up and she looked like a cross between Mrs. Doubtfire and an aging prostitute. She put her in a floral dress and pearls. She filled my mother' coffin with trinkets- playing cards with the deadman's hand, little teddy bears and loots of fake flowers. She gave me the wrong day for the funeral so I missed it. I had to get her permission to even view her. Now I think it has hit her hard and she is in a deep depressive state. 

I wish I had one more day with my mother. I did get to see the day before she died at the hospital. The Alzheimer's was gone for a few minutes and she had the gift of clarity. She knew me and my family. She told me she loved me. I kissed her and told her the same. I had to leave so she could have some type of treatment. When I left, I told her I would see the next day. But she died at 5:30 a.m., the time she used to get up for work. 

Please cherish your time with your mother. 

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Celebrity Skin

People tell me I have soft skin.

I have a secret.

I don't use soap.

To clarify, I don't use bar soap. I haven't since like 1986, when shower gel started selling at a decent price. Of course, my favorite gel is $16.00 a tube and I've only gotten it once on my birthday. I like philosophy too, but don't feel too bad buying it once in a blue moon because it comes in huge bottles.

I am going to learn to make my own soap soon. I am collecting the supplies at yard sales and plan to buy the lye and scents when I have the "hardware" I need.

This is my bitching nest...Not your bitching nest!

1) I am not crazy, but I am surrounded by it.

2) If you leave me a comment inferring I am crazy, you will be deleted. I have no time for Internet armchair psychologists.

3) If you can't control yourself, get your own blog and write what you want. Take note of the voices in your head.

4) You don't get the full story by what I post here. I will post what I want, not what you need to know.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

No News

Root didn't call or text Bobo or I today.


My husband is sleeping like a dead mother fucker in his room.

I am wide awake on the Net, watching cartoons in my room, eating ice cubes.

I am upset over my little bastard of a son I have, treating us so bad, when he kisses her parents ass.

I can't change him and I wish i could. Or change her. But I can't.

I wish I could go to sleep and stop remembering all the crap they have both done to me over the years.

I wish I could stop crying.

Friday, August 29, 2014

The Little Bastard

Monday night we went to Root and Chicky's house to eat dinner. This was a downgrade. Two weeks ago we were invited to the Chinese restaurant but it got cancelled. Then last week we got invited to go to their house for a cook-out but we got uninvited, even though her parents still came. So we get invited to eat dinner.

My son can cook. I made sure of that But this time Chicky cooked a barely edible meal - Chicken Pot Pie made with boiled chicken thighs, deboned, with Aldi's frozen vegetables, Aldi's Cream of Celery and Cream of Chicken soup, cooked and topped with Aldi's pie crust. No flavor, just goo pie. But I thanked her for inviting us and complimented her on it. But it hurts when you are made to be the last thing to be thought of.

My husband texted Root and he texted back he had a bad day. My husband asked him what was wrong. He had the nerve to text back "LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" Caps his- not mine. Whatever happened to "I don't want to talk about it right now"? Or something polite like that. My husband was just showing concern for him.

My son is a bastard. His wife has done it to him. He was never like that. She has always been that way.

I have no faith he will ever be nice again.

Saturday, August 23, 2014


My granddaughter Itchy has wanted to go to the movies for a while. She wanted to see "The Fault In Our Stars" when it came out but "it's PG-13 and I'm only PG-11." Now she wants to see "If I Stay" but my DIL and son keep coming up with excuses that she can't go. They don't want me to spend time with her, which is odd because when I was baby-sitting for free I was good enough.

I think my DIL is jealous that she wants to spend time with me and has to be forced by virtue of no other choice to spend time with her. If Itchy doesn't spend time with me, she'll forget about me. Her counselor asked her if she wanted to stay with her mother or her father, and her response was "I want to stay with Lee, Bobo and Jack (our dog)", which I guess made my DIL blind with rage.

I had a dream that my DIL was making sausage and biscuits with eggs to take to the guys at my son's job site. She wasn't listening to me and kept droning on and on. She wasn't lisyening to me. I wanted to smack her. Then I realized I was in-between sleeping and waking, and it wasn't my DIL talking, it was the Pioneer Woman Ree Drummond. She is on of my least favorite chefs, so that might explain part of the reason why  wanted to smack my DIL.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Southern Motto

Going All Redneck

I went with my sister Tuesday to the mental facility my mother was in before she died. She's convinced she's going to get a lot of money out of it. Listening to her go crazy and get all redneck, yelling and screaming, I realized that my mother was showing the symptoms that let to her death and my sister Susie-Q did nothing to help her. She trying to put the blame on someone else, so no one will figure out she is to blame. I am no longer against this facility as far as my mother was there- i saw too much wrong going through the medical records to have any use for them ever in any capacity- but they are not to blame for her death. Susie-Q is the one one responsible.

She is planning on mortgaging her house to sue them. I hope she realizes she could end up with nothing but debt and disappointment. I tried to tell her but she wouldn't listen.

I'm not planning on getting rich off my mother's death- I'll earn my my fortune the good old fashion way- the lottery!

Sunday, August 10, 2014

The 5 'A's of Apology

Acknowledge- you have made a mistake

Admit- to the parties involved your mistake

Apologize- to the parties involved that you regret making the mistake

Amends- should be made and the mistake corrected

Avoid- making the same mistake again

Example: you drop a plate and it shatters into a million pieces.If you simply say you're sorry, does that help put the plate back together.

But if you admit you broke the plate, apologize for it, buy another plate and take care not to break it, things are better.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

On Not Being a Doormat

I loaned my favorite niece $1K in April 2013. I had enough money then. She promised to pay me back.

She didn't.

She lied to me after i agreed to take payments.

Which she lied about.

I have since found out that she is pregnant with her second child out of wedlock, with a different man from the first out of wedlock baby.

She was born with kidney problems. She wasn't supposed to ever have children. But since she had no complications with the first one, she decided to go for the second one. Now she has complications. She has dropped out of school, the second the pee stick was dry. She lives on welfare.She is on bedrest.

I don't want anything bad to happen to her. But she  is not the child I helped raise. She lies. She slings her pussy around like she was throwing out Mardi Gras Beads. The entire thing makes me want to cry.

But I can't cry. I kind of feel like karma has kicked her in the butt.

She has taught me to never loan money to anyone which I can't afford to never see again.

My sister had the nerve to ask me if I wanted to go in on a baby gift with her.

I said no.

I think this is a big step toward not being a doormat.

I really don't care if i ever see my niece or her children again. She has broken my heart.

Bad News

Bobo woke up with a bad backache. Since he has Obamacare insurance, he was able to make an appointment without worrying about ruining our finances.

He was in the office until after 5, despite a 2:45 appt. He didn't even make it back to the exam room until 3:45. We finally walked out at 5:30. They did x-rays, gave him a shot and scheduled an MRI. He has degenerative disk disease. His disks in his back are like chalk. I'm sure he will get hiss disability pay this time, as well as a billion dollars in back pay.

Besides his devastating diagnosis, the other sad part of this entire mess is that he went Monday to take an aptitude test for a job that is perfect for him. He has worked in this industry twice before. The shift runs from M-TH, 7:00 a.m.-5:45 p.m. We had planned if he got it, I would go to water aerobics after dropping him off at work.

So it looks like we will grow old together, two broken people.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

More Useful Crap- Narcissistic Tells

This describes someone I know to a T. You can apply this against her and it lines up like a ruler. She has done something lately that make me want to smack her in her rubber face. Do you know someone like this?
It’s not their fault. Not EVER. It’s always your fault. His fault. Her fault. To a narcissist, it’s not their fault they hurt you, it’s your fault for being hurt-able. If your feelings are hurt, it’s not their fault; it’s your fault – for having feelings. (You may be told that you’re “choosing” to feel bad about the hurtful things they’ve done, and that it’s the wrong “choice”.) If caught doing something insensitive or selfish, they will tell you they “had to” do it because of someone or something else. If you imply that anything is their responsibility, they give you excuses and lies, and often, if those fail to work, they will finally make it clear that the bottom line is they simply don’t care because they don’t have to, and the fact that you care is just unnecessary or wrong. From their perspective, you shouldn’t care — you should get it right like they do, and be more like they are. Uncaring.
Narcissists lie to make themselves look good. They lie to get out of emotional responsibility. They lie to manipulate. They lie to gain influence. They lie out of habit. Life is a game to narcissists – a game they have to think they’re winning – and truth is one casualty in their game plan. The only time a narcissist has any interest in telling the truth is when it will serve them or cost them nothing to do so. The rest of the time, they don’t consider it necessary or important to be all that honest. Honesty can impede their self-gratification and compromise their powerful persona, and they don’t like that. To narcissists the truth is frequently “flexible” and optional. There’s no such thing as an honest narcissist.
Narcissists have to make themselves feel bigger by convincing themselves others are smaller by comparison. They’re no strangers to being condescending, snobby, clique-ish, elitist and superior; however, they may be very good at hiding their disdain to prevent a loss of popularity, which narcissists know brings them power. Narcissists with money look down on the working class. Narcissists in the working class look down on those with more money. Educated narcissists dismiss the opinions of those who have no degree. Narcissists with no degree claim educated people don’t actually know anything. Whatever narcissists HAVE (or think they have) is what they use to look down on others WITH. No-one else’s background, appearance, values, political persuasion, school, preferences, religion, way of life, profession or opinions are ever any good or worthy of their respect unless they themselves value and/or possess the same. If you think or choose differently from a narcissist, you’re “wrong”, and they’re “right”.
Narcissists literally have two faces — their real face and their stage face. And neither is anything like the other. Which one you see will depend on how long you’ve known them. Narcissists can be very charming and know how to gain favor. Anyone who doesn’t know a narcissist well will tell you the narcissist is one of the greatest people they’ve ever met! They believe this is one of the most intelligent, kindest, most interesting, funny, agreeable, most attractive, talented or accomplished people ever. They may wish they themselves had it so “together” or were so popular. However, anyone who knows that same narcissist better (family members, longtime coworkers, etc) will tell you the narcissist is one of the most horribly frustrating and toxic people they know, and the mere mention of their name makes them feel uneasy, angry, frustrated or otherwise unhappy. Being the only one who is experiencing a narcissist’s real face, while all other family members or coworkers can still only see the narcissist’s stage face is a very lonely, painful and frustrating place to be. Thankfully, the number of people who can see through the facade tends to increase with time.
If you dare to question a narcissist or request things like healthy boundaries and honesty, you’re going to become public enemy number one. The “Mr. or Ms. Wonderful” mask immediately comes off, and there is no level they will not stoop to in order to “punish” you. They have myriad ways of attempting this; some are covert, and some are open and obvious. The narcissist has a seemingly inexhaustible obsession for making people who cross them “pay”. Once they set their sights on you, you’re a permanent enemy, and their seething spite will feel as intense years down the road as it did when it first began. The length of time they can keep up the full intensity of their hatred for you and their campaign to exact revenge is absolutely dumbfounding to non-narcissistic people.
Many mentally disordered individuals project frequently. Narcissists, however, are some of the most actively and severely projecting people encountered. Ever full of accusations and criticisms, the most crazy-making thing about most of the narcissist’s claims is that YOU are doing exactly what THEY are doing. (Projection.) Have they just lied to you? Well, you’re about to be called dishonest. Are they cheating you out of an opportunity? You’re going to get the finger pointed at you for being sneaky. And you can’t say a word to them about something hurtful they have done, because that makes you an abuser – of them. You can’t give them anything but glowing feedback without their raging at you, but you’ll be the one constantly criticized severely and then called freakishly oversensitive if you show any feelings about it. And if they say so, it’s law — you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Narcissists are allergic to healthy boundaries and fairness. If you question the insensitive things they do or put any limits whatsoever on their bad behavior, you will be targeted for social, professional, or personal obliteration. Whatever narcissists perceive to be your psychological or situational “weak spots” will be their prime targets. For instance, if the narcissist knows that your greatest fear is social ridicule, that will be the main focus of the smear campaign. If he or she knows that recently, you made a mistake for which you feel guilty, that will be used against you. Narcissists know that the more effectively they can pinpoint your insecurities or flaws, the more successful they will be in eroding your confidence and your influence. And if they manage to do that, they stand a good chance of getting back the power they planned to do whatever they pleased with before you “got in their way”.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Small Minds

I just finished reading the mean girl forum. Again. Despite all my promises to stay away.

In a non-Brokeback Mountain kind of way, I just can't quit it.

This little clique of bitches are convinced they are influencing all forms of media, like reporters are hanging on their every word.

Welcome to the grand illusion!

All they do is break people down and try to hurt happy people. I am ashamed I ever joined.

I was a mean girl.

I don't comment any more, I just laugh at their idiocy.

I am no better than them.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Summer Sucks

Since I posted last, I have been in the hospital again.

My sister screwed up us from totally getting the official paper we need to discuss the settlement concerning my mother's death.

Bobo didn't balance the checkbook in a timely manner and we have no money for anything. I will have to fill up the car with the emergency credit card.

Root and Chicky have been at it. Both have lied to me about their situation. Upshot- I can't talk to my son. I took all their numbers out of my cell.

Bobo has a job lined up, but we just found out it may be a month or two before it actually opens up.

I have the next 15 days down to a dime and Bobo wants to go eat lunch.

I confessed my need for cash to a friend who owes me money and all I got was a "life sucks, huh?"

I need to find a money tree growing in the backyard, blooming with $100 bills.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Another Me

I have another screen name I use as my email address for junk mail. It's an AOL name I've had since 1994.

I did a search today on this screen name- I saw someone on FB who had their identity used in nefarious ways. Guess what?

People using my AOL name- which is a nickname I've had since I was in second grade in 1972- include:

  • a lesbian on Pinterest who pins pics of naked women
  • a social reject who has profiles on every dating sight
  • a woman in Russia willing to be your bride for the right price
  • an astrologer
  • a very high-scoring World of Warcraft player
and a few other things.

I have no recourse here. It's not my real name anyway. It's just very pissifiying and maddening. No wonder several people- Hollywood celebrities, mind you- have blocked me on Twitter. People I have never had any interaction with, never met, never sent an email. I just admired their work. But I'm blocked because I used my nickname, which is very unusual.

I hate to do it but I will have to come up with a new nickname. I am so infuriated.

Monday, June 9, 2014

The Happiest Place on Earth

It's that time of year again. Everyone is gearing up for summer vacations: the long lost relatives, the beach, Disneyland.

But not me.

I don't care about going away. I have nothing to escape from. My son and his family want to go to Crater of Diamonds State Park. My grandson- 10 years old, by the way- has collected a box full of stuff to use while he digs for diamonds.

I don't want to go. I like staying at home. Maybe because I spent my first 3 years traveling around the country. Not in a cool hippie VW bus, but in an old raggedy pick-up truck with a camper on the truck bed We used to park at stores after they closed, to spend the night and use stolen electricity to cook dinner in the electric skillet. My mom was on her third husband. Family rumor has it, after they ditched me at my great-grandparent's house, they ran a scam where my mom would pick up a man in a bar and take him back to a hotel where my step-father would bust in and steal their wallets. i don't doubt it.

But anyway, I like staying home. I'd rather cook at home than spend a fortune on restaurant food. I'd rather sleep in my own bed with my other pillows instead of paying for a hotel room. I don't need souvenirs.

There's no place like home.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Stupid People Should Step Away From The Internet

Something stupid happened on FB today. I wouldn't mention it because it makes me sound vengeful and petty but it is a prime example of why stupid people should not be allowed to use the internet and should be restricted to using crayons and old newspaper to force their misconceptions on the world.

I belonged to a fan page for a cult classic TV show. This show featured a lot of cooking, but they were all fake recipes. All except one.

Someone in the group posted they were looking for some of these fake recipes. I Googled the only really recipe for something served on this show during it's 7+ year run. I found a book review for a book about the show and it happened to include a PDF of  this recipe. I've actually cooked it before and it's a good recipe, just a bit time consuming. I posted the link to this book, and thereby the recipe.

I came back 3 hours later and saw my link had been removed and there were 16 posts about how I was committing copyright fraud. Mind you, this is a book review that has been on the Internet for years! A few people tried to take my side but it didn't do any good. The admin felt I was cheating this actor out of book royalties. She even removed the Amazon link someone else posted for the book which didn't even have the recipe but offered the book at a substantial discount- like over 20%!

She put up a link to this book directly to the publisher for full cover price. Does anyone actually ever pay the cover price any more since Amazon permeated the online ordering market? She claimed she called the publisher and this was the only link the publisher approved of posting. I call bullshit!

She is a fucking idiot.

I wrote my little rant and she kind of apologized, but not really. Later I saw she had removed all traces of the exchanges. The original shit stirrer posted separately, explaining she demanded the link be removed out of respect for the actor. Fuck both of them!

People, if you want information, Google is your friend.

Here is the link: Emergency! TV Series: Marco's Chili Recipe

Now do you see why I feel so silly? I just hate being told I am wrong when I am in the right.

Needless to say, I took myself out of the group.

Sidelines Part 2

Niece 2 refused to be brought back home. So the round trip of 22 hours on the road was for nothing. The traveling oxy caravan only spent 8 hours with here.

I did some FB stalking and the trip was the result of Niece 2 sending texts pleading with the family to help her, that she was being abused and had bruises and black eyes, not to mention in fear for her life and the safety of her unborn child. She wanted money to find her own place. Not surprisingly, I found pictures taken while they were down there and she is perfectly fine.She very pregnant and wearing a tank top and shorts-  a very skimpy outfit which bares a lot of skin- and there are no bruises, no black eyes, just her smoking with a bunch of tats. Smoking- and she has asthma, as does her son.

My sister and Niece 1 refused to listen to her pleas for money and took off in a tear to Texas to rescue her. Only to find out she was lying. My sister's status was "Thank God my baby is safe!"  I would have mentioned the fact she emotionally manipulated them while trying to gain financially.

In what world is it okay to treat family like this AND condone it? Not mine!

I am better off by myself than being part of their dysfunction. I just hate it cost me $1K and all faith in Niece 2 to find this out. I guess it was a cheap lesson.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Watching From the Sidelines

I loaned Niece 2 (who I helped raise) $1K, with the promise she would pay me back last year when she got her taxes. I got some BS about how her  taxes were short, could she pay me in installments. I agreed. She lied about sending me a $250 postal money order. I never got it. Then she tried herself up when she told me "the manager" said it was against "company policy" to give out info but it was tracked to Arkansas and then it was stolen and cashed. I've gotten money orders from the post office. They give you a slip and you track it at I told her I wouldn't be mad at her but to stop lying to me. She swears it was the truth. Then she started telling me she would send me money on Nov.15. Of course I got no money.

My sister(her mother) called me crying that my niece called her on Thanksgiving saying she only had mashed potatoes, green beans and sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving but she was grateful for that and couldn't my sister send her some money? My sister wanted to borrow some money to send her. So I told her about the $1K. Niece 2 got all her lying and scheming ways from my sister, so why my sister trusts her I will never know. I don't care if I ever see Niece 2 or any of her spawn again. She went from going to college to be a forensic scientist to having an unwed pregnancy. Then she dumped the guy and ran off with someone else to Texas. Her son was 1 at the end of March, and she is already 6 months pregnant with another by this other guy. She is a welfare queen.

I found out through FB my other niece- Niece 1 (who is just as big a disappointment but I didn't help raise) has driven to get her. 11 hours away. And my niece is on major amounts of oxycontin. Just like my sister. Neither of them is in any condition to drive. They never go anywhere alone, so I can only assume my sister and the niece are driving together to get her. I bet one gets buzzed while the other drives, then they switch, so the other one can get her buzz on. Niece 1 took her 3 kids with her. So we've got 3 minors and two impaired women flying down the highway in a minivan, high on oxycontin, going to get a heavily pregnant woman and a toddler to throw in the mix and drive back. They all smoke, so I imagine it's the Impaired Flying Ashtray.

Both nieces and all the kids have asthma. Yeah, it's a healthy environment.

I know I am better off not being included. But it hurts me to see how they turned out and I am the outcast. I do the right things and try to help Niece 2, only to have her lie to me and steal money from me.

A Wiccan friend sent me a spell to say every night like a prayer. Maybe I should start saying it:

As you sow, so shall you reap.
The money you took is not yours to keep.

Every night you'll feel the pain,
you've caused me by your ill-gotten gain.

Pay back the money and the spell I remove.
Keep it and your life will never improve.

It won't do anything, but it's supposed to make me feel better, i think. But I don't want her to have a bad life. Having my sister as a mother figure is bad enough. I just want her to pay me back and stop lying.

I wish I had family I could trust!

Monday, June 2, 2014

What Comes Around Goes Around

There was a girl in high school who shared a locker with this girl who hated me. So the first girl was pressured into hating me too. She would say mean things under her breathe at and about me. Then she went out with this guy I had an on again-off again relationship with, actually more off than on, I guess. He was one messed up dude, I see that now, but I was blinded by his long blonde hair and blue eyes and he could say what you wanted to hear. We did a lot of drinking and drugging together, and had lots of sex while we were impaired. I finally gave him up but we never confronted it head on. I just started avoiding his calls, if I answered the phone I would tell him I was busy and never call him back.He heard a rumor I was getting married and the night I got married, he drove by my now-husband's house a hundred times. Now it would be called stalking.

He kept calling me after I got married and he still drove by the house. I got off work at 11:00 at night and he got off at midnight. I could count on hearing his Volkswagon Bug putt-putting past the house at 15 minutes after midnight.

He finally moved away, but I still got weird phone calls at all hours of the night, just weird breathing, like he was jacking off. Later I worked for a national hotel chain and I worked 5 a.m. until 1:30 p.m. I got these weird calls at work at 5:30, because I was the only one answering the phone for the whole country until 6:00. One day I said "Stop, Mike. No one loves you." The calls at work and at home stopped that day. I realized later one of my husband's friends had to have told him my shift changed.

Back to this girl. She was a real cunt to me. I was glad at the end of the school year, because my mother moved and I went to a different school than she did. I didn't hear from her until Facebook came along. She saw we had been to the same school and sent me a friend request. I accepted it and didn't tell her who I really was, as my FB name is the nickname I had in second grade.

I did finally come out to her and gave her enough info to figure out who I was. I told her that she had been very mean to me but I understood it was the influence the other girl she shared her locker with (and this chick's sister who also went out with the weirdo Mike) and I didn't hold it against her. She told me her first marriage fell apart and then she married this cute stoner guy who went to school with us. He was always smoking.He found out he had lung cancer and took his rifle outside one day and blew his head off in the backyard.

I feel sorry for her on one level. But another evil part of me thinks Karma smacked her upside the head. But this psycho Mike could be very persuasive. He spread a lot of rumors about me. I always came running back. It's pretty sad to think that he was able to manipulate me and make me feel bad about what he did, even 35 years later. He is the one I stalked down on FB that I talked about on her a few years ago. His blonde hair is gone- he's bald, he has bags under his eyes and he's very fat- he looks like he's been eating nothing but donuts and butter. I'm 49 but people are shocked and think I am 35. His girlfriend is 55 but she looks 65. I think he got what he deserved.

So back to the girl. She posted in a group I belong to that she was having a hard time even 5 years after her husband's suicide. I feel sorry for her- no one needs that. There was one guy in the group giving her shit. Again, I think Karma raised its ugly head.

I'm torn, I told her I would give her a call one day when I get to town and we could go to lunch together. I might give her a call this week. She needs a friend right now. I can forgive her for being a bitch back then.

But I believe their is no redemption for Mike. He deserves whatever Karma dishes out to him.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Useful Information

I don't know where this originally came from but it helped me and might help someone else. I did not write this!

Key facts and signs of a manipulative wife…
Control – She controls the relationship, dictates where you go, who you see or what you can say. You will always do what she says you should do. No questions asked. She runs your life.
Guilt – She will constantly try to make you feel guilty about the trivial things you do. She tries to control you through guilt.
Blame – She will never accept the blame for anything. She will refuse to acknowledge that she was the cause of fights or misunderstandings.
Insecurities – She will prey on your insecurities. She will take advantage of your low self-esteem and make it worse by heaping insults and criticisms on you, making you doubt your own ability. She wants you to feel worthless.
Undermine – She will constantly undermine you. She will scoff at your job, your abilities and shoot down every idea you have. She will try to stifle your ambition and make you feel like nothing you do is good enough. She will try to convince you that you should be grateful for putting up with her. Nothing you ever do will be good enough.
Confrontation – She will avoid confrontation at all costs. She will refuse to discuss significant issues and problems that arise in your relationship. Arguments and fights are not the same as confronting the core issue and having rational discussions.
How about these 13 signs of a wife that has borderline personality disorder or narcissistic tendencies…
Did you know: 
:: Society and psychology hold a reverse sexist attitude regarding the perpetrators and recipients of emotional abuse.
:: Men have been brainwashed into believing that “she’s just expressing her feelings” when she’s being abusive and that “he’s insensitive and doesn’t understand.”  Should these men enter into couples treatment, they often get tag teamed by their girlfriend/wife and the therapist into believing that they’re the problem. Should this couple actually find a shrink worth his/her salt that tries to hold the girlfriend/wife accountable, the shrink is usually fired and vilified by the girlfriend/wife.
:: Men are too embarrassed to talk about the hurt, pain and confusion they experience as a result of the way these women mistreat them.

1. Censoring your thoughts and feelings. You edit yourself because you’re afraid of her reactions. Swallowing the lump in your throat and your hurt and anger is easier than dealing with another fight or hurt feelings. In fact, you may have stuffed your own emotions for so long that you no longer know what you think or feel.
2. Everything is your fault. You’re blamed for everything that goes wrong in the relationship and in general, even if it has no basis in reality.
3. Constant criticism. She criticizes nearly everything you do and nothing is ever good enough. No matter how hard you try, there is  no pleasing her or, if you do, it’s few and far between.
4. Control freak. She engages in manipulative behaviors, even lying, in an effort to control you.
5. Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde. One moment she’s kind and loving; the next she’s flipping out on you. She becomes so vicious, you wonder if she’s the same person.
6. Your feelings don’t count. Your needs and feelings, if you’re brave enough to express them, are ignored, ridiculed, minimized and/or dismissed. You’re told that you are too demanding, that there is something wrong with you and that you need to be in therapy. You’re denied the right to your feelings.
7. Questioning your own sanity. You’ve begun to wonder if you’re crazy because she puts down your point of view and/or denies things she says or does. If you actually confide these things to a friend or family member, they don’t believe you because she usually behaves herself around other people.
8. Say what? “But I didn’t say that. I didn’t do that.” Sure you did. Well, you did in her highly distorted version of reality. Her accusations run the gamut from infidelity to cruelty to being un-supportive (even when you’re the one paying all the bills) to repressing her and holding her back. It’s usually baseless, which leaves you feeling defensive and misunderstood.
9. Isolating yourself from friends and family. You distance yourself from your loved ones and colleagues because of her erratic behavior, moodiness and instability. You make excuses for her inexcusable behaviors to others in an effort to convince yourself that it’s normal.
10. Walking on landmines. One misstep and you could set her off. Some people refer to this as “walking on eggshells,” but eggs emit only a dull crunch when you step on them. Setting off a landmine is a far more descriptive simile.
11. What goes up, must come down. She places you on a pedestal only to knock it out from under your feet. You’re the greatest thing since sliced bread one minute and the next minute, you’re the devil incarnate.
12. Un-level playing field. Borderlines and Narcissists make the rules; they break the rules and they change the rules at will. Just when you think you’ve figured out how to give her what she wants, she changes her expectations and demands without warning. This sets you up for failure in no-win situations, leaving you feeling helpless and trapped.
13. You’re a loser, but don’t leave me. “You’re a jerk. You’re a creep. You’re a bastard. I love you. Don’t leave me.” When you finally reach the point where you just can’t take it anymore, the tears, bargaining and threats begin. She insists she really does love you. She can’t live without you. She promises to change. She promises it will get better, but things never change and they never get better.
When that doesn’t work, she blames you and anything and anyone else she can think of, never once taking responsibility for her own behaviors. She may even resort to threats. She threatens you that you will never see the kids again. Or she threatens to bad mouth you to your friends and family.
Is your girlfriend or wife a professional victim?
Women who play the victim are often the aggressor in the relationships. They play the “victim” to manipulate and controls others by holding you emotionally hostage. Professional victims are stealth bullies. Being caught in a never ending blame game with one of these women is a form of emotional abuse for the man at whom she points her finger in accusation.
1. She never acknowledges when she hurts other. She has exclusive rights to the role of “injured party.” When you call her on her behavior, she provides ample excuses for why she’s not accountable. The excuses she provides assign blame for her actions to someone else, usually the person she’s wronged. It’s always your fault or someone else’s fault, but never, ever is it her fault.
2. The victim must be victimized. If you’re not an abusive person, she’ll pull it out of you in order to play the victim script she has in her head. For example, she needles and needles and needles one of your sore spots, until you can’t take it any more and snap at her in defense.
Presto! She just got you to “victimize” her-never minding the previous 2 hours in which she psychologically tormented and bullied you into it. She needs to play innocent victim to someone’s bad guy. It’s the foundation of her identity.
This is a very primitive defense mechanism called projective identification, which, if you’re on the receiving end, is truly awful in that it makes you feel like the crazy person. It’s a self-fulfilling prophesy whereby she believes you’re a “bad guy” and she’s a “victim.” She then behaves or interacts with you in such a way that you change your behavior in response to her actions and become the “bad guy.” A telltale sign is that you feel like you’re being coerced into being someone that you’re not. It’s highly, highly emotionally abusive.
3. She blames others and circumstances for her own shortcomings or failures. The professional victim lives in “Never-Never Take Personal Responsibility Land,” which is bordered to the North by “The Land of If Only.” This allows her to blame her parents, siblings, co-workers, bosses, professors and you for her life, career and relationships not being as she thinks they should be.
She’d be running the business if only her boss recognized her talents. She’d have graduated from culinary school and been wildly successful if her prof hadn’t looked at her cross-eyed. She’d have sex with you more often if you did more of x, y, and z. Don’t fall for this malarkey, men. She’s right in that there’s someone to blame for her sad life. She need only look in the mirror to direct her blame accurately.
4. She admires and respects people who actually treat her badly. This is a fascinating aspect of the professional victim: They defend those who harm, exploit and bully them and vilify and lash out at those who want to help and care for them. She may fondly describe a relative or ex-boyfriend who sounds like a real S.O.B. and follow it up with, “but he’s such a good person.” Meanwhile, you bend over backward to tiptoe around her extreme sensitivities and she accuses you of “beating her down” and “not being supportive.” Huh?
The fact that she admires and respects bullies and people who abuse their power is a huge red flag because we emulate those we admire. Let me make this point crystal clear, SHE ADMIRES BULLIES AND ABUSERS BECAUSE SHE IS REALLY AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE BULLY IN VICTIM’S CLOTHING.
It’s impossible to have a loving relationship of equals with a professional victim. She goes through life feeling slighted and angry, never taking responsibility for her actions or life. Good luck trying to talk to her about this. You’ll meet with extreme defensiveness and more blaming behaviors. Her only identity is that of victim: If she doesn’t believe she’s being victimized, then who is she? Someone who treats other people like crap and who is pissing her life away. It’s a matter of psychological self-preservation versus ego annihilation.
You can’t have a healthy and happy relationship with someone who holds you hostage and controls you through guilt, emotional blackmail, and blame.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

This is another post where I say nothing worth reading

Tonight is diet group meeting night. I think I might skip. I am not in a good frame of mind at the moment.

Plus a local restaurant is celebrating their 30th anniversary with .89 roast beef sandwiches. Since they are normally $2.99, you know I will be there. Eating roast beef oozing with horseradish sauce is the plan.

Bobo had to go to one of his drunk driving classes last night. Luckily he is having to take them at a location near the house.I don't have to drive a total of 80 miles to drop him off, go home, pick him up and go back home. This place is maybe 3 miles from the house, so I only drive 12 miles. Most definitely a plus. I enjoyed having the time to myself, even if I did nothing more than watch TV.

He is looking for a job. I explained if he starts looking now, he'll have one by the time his classes are up. He only goes to one 3-hour class a week, he's acting like he is attending class 14  hours a day, 5 days a week. Part of their class is discussion which ties in with his homework, then they have to watch a film. I guess the films are like those driver's ed movies, like Killer on the Road. Lots of blood and gore smeared on the asphalt.

I ordered new towels for both bathrooms. I plan on hiding all the old towels in the garage to use as rags. I also ordered this old clock off ebay that shows you when to plant certain things. I've coveted this clock forever and now I will actually own one! It was made in 1976. I remember a friend's mom had one when I was in junior high and I've wanted one ever since!

My life is so boring.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Boys On The Brain

I keep having dreams I have a baby. A baby boy. I'm never pregnant in the dreams, so I assume someone gave me  a baby.The babies are all so cute.

I assume it's because my niece who owes me a substantial amount of money is 6 months pregnant. Her 1st son is only 1 1/2, so she is going to have her hands full. I will in all probability never see my money.

No one gets any money from me ever again.

I guess I need to stop watching videos of babies on Youtube.

I Caved

I bought the dress.

With my luck, I will begin loosing weight until the dress is swimming on me, looking like a potato sack.

Worse things have happened.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Got The Shopping Jones

I want to buy smething.

I spent all my extra cash on a pair of jeans for me and some CD's for Bobo. We kind of missed Christmas.

But now I have the shopping jones...and almost $500 available on my credit card!

I'm trying not to spend it but this dress on keeps calling my name. I don't even wear dresses!

I must be strong.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Part 1- Ways to Kill the Elf On The Shelf

As another holiday has just passed us by, I was party to a conversation about how glorious it is that there is no Bunny counterpart to Elf On A Shelf (EOAS). This gave way to ideas on how to take out the EOAS:

  1. Tie it to a July 4th rocket
  2. Dog toy
  3. hung by the neck from the ceiling fan chain
  4. Cut into bits inside a Pentagram
  5. Leave him on a sushi restaurant conveyor belt on a $1.99 plate. Someone will eat him, with wasabi.
  6. Let him hang from a rearview mirror before going through a carwash
  7. Industrial shredder
  8. Mulcher ( manly version of #7)
  9. Lawn mower
  10. Let Santa steal him and take him back home
  11. Stick him in a random box of Rice Krispies at the store
  12. Leave him next to the Keebler Cookies with a note explaining they are being forced to make cookies against their will, SEND HELP!
  13. Poke his head through a broken restroom lock, as if he were a peeper
  14. Stick him in a donation jar for a really bogus charity
  15. Mail him somewhere obscure, like the Smithsonian 
  16. Make a Bum Fight video of him getting his ass kicked by Flat Stan
  17. Zip tie to a growing sunflower and let him go see the giant with the Magic Beans
  18. Microwave- on popcorn setting
  19. Mail him to Dane Cook, who will do freaky stuff to him
  20. Use his as the birdie in a spirited game of badmiton

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

My Way Is Working!

I can get back into my jeans!

Letting Go, Leaning In and Paying It Forward...

Why won't people let you live the life you choose? I have been cool with my sister, considering she deprived me of being with my mother for the last year of her life and kept me from her funeral.I have tried to be nice but keep myself at a distance. She keeps saying "I want a loving caring sister, not a relationship full of hatred and cruelty."

She is toxic.

She wants what she wants.

We can get along as long as we are superficial. I have no desire to go any deeper to have any type of relationship. with her. She doesn't own up to what she does. She never takes responsibility for anything.

She claims she was raped 5 times and molested at a very young age. She claims she was gang raped. She was scared to tell anybody when it happened. But she wasn't afraid to tell lies on me? Give me a break. I wish she would stop pushing me.

I will never take more of her than I can accept. She can't make me.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

I Do Nothing...I Mean Nothing

I went to the dentist Tuesday to make the last of the dental molds for dentures. I had hoped to go in yesterday and pick out my new rockstar smile, but instead it will be NEXT Friday! I thought I would be cheesing with them by then.So I will get teeth someday.

I cancelled 2 doctors appointments waiting on this none existent appointment that will HAPPEN NEXT WEEK!

I have done nothing. Well, I did manage to cripple myself by falling over a tower heater that I THOUGHT was where I wouldn't trip over it. Wrong. So my husband has gotten off his ass and done a shit ton of dishes, so I only have a few to do I plan on never using it again.

I crippled myself up enough to justify staying in bed most of the week. I have a BLACK bruise on what was formerly my good knee. I have to get up today and do laundry because I just realized my sheets stink.I guess I will go to church tonight. I will be sure to bring my cane.

I am going to the Y Monday, if for no other reason than to soak in the hot tub. I wonder how pissed they would be if I smuggled in a bottle of wine. I have my bathing suit, swim shoes and lock. What more do I need?

I am tired of driving Bobo around. He bitches about my driving.My insurance rate went up quite a bit and I had to go get new insurance because I got dropped. !15 years with these bitches and they drop me. Plus my radio tuner knob is broken off and they better fix it.

Life sux!

Thursday, April 10, 2014

It's Working!

I have decided not to get gastric bypass surgery. I am doing it well on my own. I will have my hernia repaired though.

 I have lost 7 lbs. with my simple rules. I haven't been hungry. I have had a shit ton of water to help fill me up.

Our weight loss class hasn't been in session since forever. The leader doesn't go to our church anymore, so I will have to dive 7 miles further to get to our meeting spot. I was going to quit anyway. The Buddah/buda thing kind of sealed the deal.

I haven't felt like going to church. Flat out, I don't believe anymore, no more than I believe in anyone saving me. I got my feeling hurt when I was in the hospital 2 months and no one brought me a casserole or anything to eat. But let someone go in for 4 days and they fed her for a month. True Christian Love.

I don't think I will be going back to church anymore.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Under The Knife

I see a surgeon about fixing my hernia soon, April 10. I found out he also does gastric bypass/lapbands, so I may do that.

But if I get just the hernia fixed, I can exercise more. My clothes will fit. I won't look like I'm stealing basketballs at Wal-Mart.I can still bust up a Red Lobster Endless Shrimp.

 I can't do that with a lapband.

I just want to be normal.

I Come Clean...Dirty Little Secret

My husband had a car wreck in the middle of February. My car was badly damaged and will not be out of the shop until tomorrow. I've gotten used to the little Versa rental.

He had been drinking. He plowed into the back of somebody who didn't have any brake lights. He didn't get cited for the wreck. They took him by ambulance to the hospital here in town.

He had taken his daily medication early. Then right before he left, he took a swig of Moon Shine I didn't know bout. Somehow the half-life of the drugs got kicked off by the alcohol.

I have made it very clear I am disgusted with his behavior. He pled guilty. He has to go to classes, go on 90 days unsupervised probation and get his license suspended for 90 days. He is  racking up the fines.

I sold our second car. I gave him the money to pay his junk, with the agreement he pay me back triple the amount.

He is never driving my car again. Ever. I am having him pulled off my insurance.

Drunk driving makes me so angry. It's the lowest of the lows. My first question was whether anyone was hurt. No, they are fine. But they were cited for no having brake lights, so technically I could sue them (as suggested by the judge). But I'm not.

He is applying for several jobs close to the house. I can drive him and pick him up.

He lost his visitation rights to my bedroom, if you know what I mean.

I'm about ready to file divorce. I have to go to this legal clinic to become administrator of my mother's estate. I just wanted to find out some answers to a few questions. But they want an administrator to speak with. The woman at the legal clinic feels like they are afraid I am going to sue over a few tings I discovered in her medical records. She says it sounds like they want an administrator to handle the settlement money. I might ask about a divorce while I'm there.

I'm tired of rescuing people. I need someone to take care of me.

I need someone to love and respect me.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

I lost an hour somewhere...

Why does it seem like when the clocks go back an hour, the day sucks? I hate this day. I need to grocery shop. Too much trouble. I think  I will just use my Nutri-Bullet and throw all the fruit in there for dinner,

Thursday, March 6, 2014

"Squad 51...Start an IV with 6 mgs. Morphine Sulfate and transport to Rampart!"

I forgot the best thing ever!

We switched to Comcast from DirectV and they have a station with all my favorite TV shows I watched growing up. Like...

and ...

and a ton of other shows. They also have "Petticoat Junction", which I always thought was kind of gross, because of those country bitches bathing in the town's water supply. Nasty! I knew even then I didn't want my Tang made with cootchie water.

Doing It Over...My Way

Bucky is nowhere to be seen. I think she ran out of her hard drugs and finally read all the crap she put out on FB.

I am over her.

I still have the trophy from our diet class. I can  give it to someone to give it to her. I can lose weight on my own. If I keep going to our church, the scales are in the bathroom. I don't need to go to class anymore. I know how to make diet crap with sugar-free Jell-O and diet Cool Whip.

I have this urge to do some extreme dieting. And exercise. I want to be skinny again so bad.

I guess I will have to wear a rubber band and pop myself when I want food.

Once I get my dentures, I will have more options for food. Salads delicious salads. Watermelon will be in season soon. I can actually eat stuff without having to gum it to death.

I am going to be skinny.

If it kills me.

I will post my losses here. No one needs to know how much I weigh. Let's just say I gained back what I lost a few years ago.

I will use the 1972 WW plan (just click to see it) and add in a few stipulations:

  • No Sugars
  • No Starches
  • No Seconds
  • No Excuses
I will walk up and down my street, using my walker. I will start going to water classes at the Y. I will watch TV while pouncing on my big pink ball.

I will do it.

I promise myself. I can't disappoint myself.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

...the woes of being a quasi-Buddhist...

My friend hasn't liked any of my posts or  made  simple comment on my FB page since she burned over like Buddha quotes. She has sposted how much foood people have brought over to her house since she's been home. Our church has a ministry to bring food to people's homes when someone has been in the hospital. UUUUmmmm, I was in the hospital for 2 months, then me and Bobo were both in for a week and then I was in again for 4 days in December. No oone has brought so much as a glass of Kool-Aid to my house.

The preacher's wife who usually looks at at me, I smile at her and she turns away with a frown, But tonight she actually sat down beside me and initiated simple conversation. My hsband had to say his good words to the preacher after the service and the preacher asked about me.

I'm thinking no one came to my rescue on FB so they don't piss off my friend. But more people have been nice to me lately.

I'm wondering if I should even call her my friend anymore. I thinnk I'll call her Bucky.

I'm not going to stop posting Buddha quotes. They have kept me from beating the struedel out of people by calming me down. I don't complain when Bucky put videos of donkeys. It was something she coud have directed to me in a DM or something, not put it out there for the world to see. Drugs or not, it's rude!

And it made me cry!

Fuck her!

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

My Ass On A Platter...

I had my ass handed back to on FB today, by someone I considered to be one of my best friends. We go to church together and have known each other even longer outside of church.

She had major surgery in the last week, so I'm trying to give her a break. It's probably the drugs.

I post things on my FB wall that may be posted for me, or for others sometimes. I share things that appeal to me. I don't post dirty jokes or racist comments.

But I got called out for posting Buddha quotes by my friend. She  asked by I was posting all "this buda stuff", that it went against everything she believed as a Christian. To her, he is just a fat Chinese idol.

I replied that Buddha never claimed to be a holy man, that she could consider Buddha quotes a recipe for a calmer life. As far as the fat idol quote, she should just consider him an Oriental Santa Claus who comes every day to bring you peace. I apologized for offending her.

She came back with I could never offend her, that I was her dear friend. Again, the drugs speak!

It made me cry. Not because of what she said, but because she called me out on FB. She knows me well enough to know that it is the worst thing she could do, to chastise me in a public forum. I still can't believe she did it.

I guess I can blame it on the drugs. Or maybe the drugs made her bold enough to remove the filter she previously had in place.

Or maybe sometimes you find out who your real friends are.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Friday Night Fun

I have the overwhelming urge to go to Target. Yeah, on Valentine's Day. My husband went to bed early and I am bored. I am watching "The Hangover" which I have never seen.

But then I remembered that Valentine's junk will be on sale tomorrow, so I guess I will wait.

I think I will treat myself to a glass of wine and some chocolate-covered strawberries.

I do love myself.

My Worst Valentine's Day Ever...

It was 10th grade. I had been talking to a guy on the phone for 2 weeks and he asked me out for VD.

Bad idea...never have your first date on Valentine's Day!

He looked nothing like he'd described. He was supposed to be about ' tall. He was maybe 5'3" plus a good 3 inches in his high-heeled cowboy boots. He looked like Howdy Doody.

We were supposed to double date with another couple. He picked me up at my house with the other couple. When we got to the drive-in, there were 2 entire rows of people from their school. People kept popping in and out of the truck to see who Howdy-Doody has tricked into going out with him. He went to the concession stand. He stayed away.

The couple in the front had sex in front of me, then got in an argument. The girl walked off. The guy in the front suggested I get up front and we put the little heater between us. I agreed, as I was freezing.

I had been up there long enough I had some feeling back in my hands and feet. Then the girl he had screwed opened the door and yanked me out, accusing me of making out with him. There was a huge group of kids watching us. She kept calling me names like "slut"", "whore", "bitch" and punching me.

Something came over me when she kidda slugged me in the chest. I gave her a right punch in the mouth and knocked her over. Then I sat on her chest and started beating her in the face with my fists. Her friends pulled me off and I just walked away, across the parking lot and out the gates. I called for a ride home from a friend I knew would be getting off work.

I got a call from Howdy Doody, apologizing for everything. But I told him to shove it. He actually wanted another date! He was surprised I had stood up to the bitch. He wanted to get to know me. Well, he'd seen all he was going to see of me.

The parents of the girl I beat made her call and apologize. They offered to pay for any damages I might have incurred. I declined. I guess she didn't let them know I kicked her ass. Later, Howdy and his friends brought an envelope to the house with $100 bill in it. I had my sister go to the door. I put the money in the bank. i forgot about the incident.

About 5 years later, I ran into Howdy. He was at a bar, waiting on a date I guess, because he was alone and kept looking toward the door. I was there with my husband. i looked pimping. He waved at me. I ignored him.

I still haven't seen the movie that was playing at the drive-in...MY BLOODY VALENTINE!

Monday, February 10, 2014

...just like a man

This is so confounded confusing, it is giving me a headache.

My husband had a doctor's appointment for Feb. 20, so I made my next dental appointment for Feb. 21.

Then I was asked to change it to Feb.20 but later in the afternoon. That worked since his was 10:00 in the morning.

Then he mentioned he DID have another appointment with a different doctor for Feb. 21, which he had cancelled since I had made my dental appointment for the same day.

So he pouted all week-end. And he fussed. And he made me want to pinch him in the gut!

So after all this, he calls today and he is able to get his appointment back, as well as change the one he had for the week after so he can do both appointments at the same time. That gives me time to drop off our medical expenses at the social services office and still have time to go thrifting.

Or I may mail our expenses and go get lemon gelato. Yes, lemon gelato in the sticks of Mississippi.Its worth a stamp.

Saturday, February 1, 2014 I need a hole in my head...

Okay, things are okay. I can pay my house note, bills, groceries, gas and car insurance and usually have enough left for a cheap dinner out (usually via Groupon).

A friend sent me a late Christmas gift. Keep in mind I sent him a pointed crystal pendant and a ball chain to wear it on. He had mentioned he wanted one and I found a nice small double terminated quartz set in silver and a stainless steel call chain. He didn't want a big one because he wants to wear it at work and he wanted a small one so it would be discreet. He loved it. He said my gift was coming. I told him just catch me next year. But I got a huge heavy box from him in the mail the other day.

A brand new Bose radio with an iPhone dock. According to the Bose website, about $600 worth of radio. I'm being ungrateful but it has too much bass. I always cranked my treble up all the way. You can't adjust a Bose.

I get him a $5 necklace and he gets me a $600 radio.

It makes me feel like shit. He got the necklace before he got the radio though, so it's not like it is a surprise. I know he got a great job this year and he;s making a lot more money. I think he may have gotten the radio as a sales prize or something. If I keep telling myself that, I might feel better.

But do I really need a $600 radio?