Friday, August 30, 2013

Confessions of a Mean Girl

A while back I mentioned that I frequented a mean girl message board. I resolved not to post there anymore.

I weakened.

I posted there for a few months. About a month ago, I posted something on there, Something they had wondered about for years, speculating what might have happened. It involved a major social leader, a very powerful female with a lot of clout. I posted the truth about what happened, which is something that happened years ago.

I got my ass handed to me on a plate.

How did I know? Didn't I realize I was spreading rumors? Who was I to tell this tale?

To be succinct, I had first hand knowledge, I made a promise to a friend not to tell while she was employed by the figure and I was tired of seeing them post the questions about what had happened. I knew the answers.

So now I am am outcast. Out of 159 replies, three were positive. One verified what I said via another source, a source no where as close as I was. No one apologized. or thanked me for clearing up the matter. I was chewed up and spit out.

Needless to say, the bitches on that board are garbage to me now. I did a bit of lurking but I'm not going to even waste my time doing that. One poster put it in perspective when she said that the board refused to believe anything that didn't fit their fantasy of what happened.

I am real.

But I swear on the 9 toes I have left, I won't ever darken their board again. Even as a lurker. The hive mentality is too much for me to bear.

I believe in truth.

I was as brainwashed as those bitches were convinced their subject choices were. I wish I could go back and erase all existence of my association with them. But the internet is forever.

They are convinced they are forcing change upon a certain group of people. Now I see them for what they are- a hate group, as much as hate group as the Nazis. They were self-important. I was never mean and tried to keep them from digging too hard at anyone. They were convinced they were affecting a large change. Yeah, 900 people against the world.

But they are a hate group. I wish I could apologize to each person who ever crossed their path.

I am ashamed of myself.

The Box

Dell sent me a box to mail the other computer back in for service, even though I paid extra for someone to work on it in my home.

But it is progress.


Never Surrender

I didn't apologize.

But Chickie did, yesterday. She said she was sorry for hurting me. She needs me to baby-sit. My son talked her into it. I don't know how sincere she was about it.

But she broke first.

Not me.

I still don't need her in my life. She has ruined my son, is self-esteem, his credit rating.

I have to remember I am doing it for my son and my grandkids.

Not her.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Rough Weather Ahead...

Chickie did it this time. She was having an argument with Itchy at a restaurant the other night. I was speaking to Itchy and Chickie interrupted me by yelling at me, like so loud every head in our section of the restaurant turned to see who waking the ruckus. I briefly had the thought of going all Real Housewives on her ass and throwing a drink on her or flipping the table. But throwing drink at someone loses a bit of effectiveness unless it's a cocktail, not iced tea.

My son spoke up for me the first time in the 6 years he has known her. So she turned her wrath on him. She said "I'm sorry" to me. I had tears in my eyes for the rest of the night.

She called me yesterday and I was civil and polite to her. She started saying what's wrong? I told her I didn't want to discuss it. It does take me a while to get over things like that but it's not like I was being ugly to her.

She kept asking and I told her. She flew into a rage. She was yelling so loudly I couldn't hear her. I told her when she yells like that, she sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher and I can't understand her. That set her off again. Finally she hung up on me.

Then she called me back and yelled some more. This time she didn't want me to watch her kids. Yeah, she's a terrorist who uses her kids as a bargaining tool. Then she hung up on me again.

I sent her a text saying she owed me 2 apologies for hanging up on me and let me know if she wants me to watch her kids. I asked her not to call me again if she was going to hang up on me because that is harassment. I got no reply.

My son calls me this morning, asking me to watch the kids for him, not her. I told him she needed to apologize for hanging up on me and he said that won't be happening. I told him I would watch the kids but I really don't want any interaction with her, in any shape, form or fashion.

So I am watching the kids.

We had all been planning a beach vacation together and now I refuse to go. Not just because of her latest bad behavior, but the last time we went with her and her parents on a getaway, Root and Chickie got one bedroom and her parents got the other bedroom. We were relegated to the playroom with the pool table, forced to sleep on an air mattress- me, and a futon- my husband with the bad back. When I woke up, the air mattress was flat- slow leak, I guess. Neither of them offered to switch with us for the second night. Her mom and dad went and bought groceries we all chipped in on, but they shopped without consulting us and I couldn't eat most of the food.

I don't see any reason way this would benefit me, since no one considered our needs. Now that she has been so ugly to me, I really refuse to go. She can invite her brother and his girlfriend to take our places. It can be a family trip for them. I'm not going to spend money to get treated like a second class citizen. My money is worth just as much as their money and spends the same. There's no reason for us to go if we are going to get treated like crap.

I was willing to go and overlook what happened on the last vacation. But not now. I don't want to be in a social situation with her. No dinners, no school programs, no family functions.

I also think if someone hags up on you, they don't want to hear your voice. So I am going to limit my contact with her. I will watch her kids, period. No favors, no special trips to Target to get her anything. She has no idea what she has done.

She has unleashed the Seether.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

In case you were still wondering...

Dell computer company SUCKS!

Making Progress

Guess what? My room has clean spots now! I know if you look at it as an entire room, it still looks trashed. But I can see that the pile of laundry is gone, the hangers are in my wardrobe and closet instead of scattered across the floor and the piles of books that were stacked beside my bed are now neatly in the bookcase. I am ignoring the pile of Very Important Papers piled next to the bed. I ordered a kick-ass filing system from Amazon- clear filing tote with black hanging files and pink folders- but I might desecrate it if I actually put papers in it.

I had the kids for a few days for the entire day. We ended up lounging on my bed and watching movies. The boy had his Nintendo DS and the girl is a whiz at Flow Free on my iPhone. We ate some fast food, but not too much. We spent 2 hours at McDonald's at one of prime pieces of real estate- one of the tables in the McPlay area with the touch screen games. I cooked a few meals and I am proud to say I ate a lot less than they did- I'm getting the hang of this! I've lost 6 lbs. since last week. I can't wait to get out the skinny jeans and lounge around the kitchen drinking my coffee!

I did have the pleasure of going over to Chickie's and going through the junk she was putting out for her yard sale. All I did was retrieve a few things I had loaned to my son way before he even met her. She was selling a Depression glass platter she got from her grandmother, but pride got the better of me. I didn't ask for it. I told her it was worth quite a bit of money. She said she didn't care. Oh well. She's gonna give some old lady an orgasm and possibly a heart attack when she sells it for $1!

I didn't qualify for the pain study but I may qualify for one coming up. My doctor did give me an anti-depressant and it is actually helping me to avoid remembering my knees are killing me. I do have a few pain pills left, but I am saving them. I am in the mindset of thinking I have them if I need them, but I am stronger than that. If I had none, I would feel there was no help available. It's a mindfuck, actually.

They are about to start building a house next door to us. I think my dog is going to hate this.

My tomatoes have far surpassed my expectations. I need to cage those bitches! They are waist high and have tons of blossoms on them. So I have to go get cages tomorrow. I lost a rainbow pepper plant and crookneck squash because my dog ate them. Oh well, can't win them all. Maybe next year I will plant those tiny hot Thai chilis, just to teach him a lesson or two about eating stuff from my garden.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Boring Life

I don't have much to post. I have been watching the kids some, but they start school next Wednesday. I guess after that I start going to the Y to swim every morning and work on getting some of the blubber off my butt. I need to find my lock.

I have had a new revelation about food. Every time I think about eating food, I think twice and ask myself, "Would I eat this if I were skinny?" It seems like it is helping me either say NO to a food or eat a smaller portion.

I want to be a size 6 or 8, even if I would be a decent size at size 12. I want to wear skinny jeans and hang out in my kitchen drinking coffee. In my skinny jeans.

A girl can dream, right?