Thursday, April 4, 2013

white horse

I had a dream about my mother. it wasn't scary. I was glad to see her. I had picked her and my niece up to take them downtown. Then I realized she had my purse, so I went back downtown. I got my purse and took her and my niece home. Not quite sure why she didn't stay, but we had a nice chat in the car.

I was glad to see her. I woke up happy, but then I remembered she was dead. But the happiness wasn't gone. I know she loved me. Years ago, we agreed we would see each other in our dreams and we would be sure there was a white horse. In my dream, there was a white horse in a playground, one of those horses toddlers ride on a spring.

It was white.

Monday, April 1, 2013

the amish vampires

I have been checking out the searches people use to get to my blog. If you are looking for amish vampire porn, this is your place!

I have no idea why they end up here. One day I will write an amish vampire porn tale and make a few of you in the Midwest really really happy. so don't be surprised if I add an amish vampire porn page.

I went to my weight loss group. They gave me the "biggest loser" award for the weight I lost in the hospital. I got an "eat this, not that" supermarket guide, which should come in handy. it has good choices for everything you might buy at a grocery! so maybe I can lose some more pounds.

Did I mention that I got an I-phone 4, with a fuschia and white Otterbox case? Very girly. I have ordered a small stylus that goes in the plug on the top. I will be geek chic! I have downloaded a few free apps. I want to photograph my food on an instagram stream. I need to learn to do this next. Aren't you just chomping at the bit to examine my dinner?

I watched kind-hearted woman tonight and I might buy the entire series on dvd. It was very interesting to see how the Indian Tribal Courts work.

Blogger is forcing me to type in both upper and lowercase letters. I hate the man! Freaking establishment! I fiI don't use caps, it looks like this was typed by a drunken 5 year-old.

Great, now I'll get all the pedophiles looking for pictures of drunken 5 year-old.

not haunted

sometimes when we wish for things, we don't really know what we want.

when those wishes come true, we realize how wrong we were.

I haven't had any dreams about my mother lately. it still doesn't seem real. I was thinking today that I might get her a dvd copy of "hope springs" because she is was a big tommy lee jones and meryl streep fan. then I remembered, she's dead.

dead people bear no tales. dead people watch no movies.

I wish she would come back in my dreams. but I want her to tell me something, something important. like when I or my husband will die and how, winning lottery numbers, where bobo can get a job. something important. something that will change my life. I know that is selfish. I know she loved me but she wasn't always the best mother. I guess I have some bizarre wish that in death, she becomes the perfect mother and give me all the secrets from the other side.

I was never good enough for her standards, but she coddled my sister who never tried to do anything.

maybe now she can see how hard I have tried to lead a good productive life, instead of standing there with my hand out.

I hope she visits me again. I was wrong to wish that I stop dreaming about her.