Tuesday, December 22, 2009


tomorrow my mother is coming over with my sister, her husband, one of my nieces and my great-niece. we are going to do a gift exchange. yes, i bought a few snugglies and starbucks bags of coffee. i scaled christmas down, but i am still buying for the kids.

i am making dinner- diner sliders, kinda like the little square burgers from krystal or white castle. i even have the tiny buns. i can make 12 in each pan and i think 24 will feed all of us. i am also making chocolate shakes and cheesy tatertots. i have coke, dr. pepper, diet coke and lemonade. if you can't find something to drink, just suck it and drink water.
my niece is bringing a lemon pie. i can't wait! she is a great cook and i am proud of her. when she was little, we would give her a bowl of water and a tiny egg beater. she would beat the water to death, then i would measure it out and add it as needed to whatever we were making, she was always so proud of her contribution.

she was also invaluable when making chinese dumplings. she was a "good dumple maker" in her own words. she was a whiz at folding them and painting the seams shut with water, and only 4 years old.

she plans on going to medical school when she graduates next year. she's turning out real good.

so i should be cleaning and premaking the sliders. i will post the recipe tomorrow. it's not really a recipe, it's more of a list of technique. UPDATE: HASN'T HAPPENED YET!

i still have christmas to wrap! lots of items from the dot shop (dollar aisle at target) are still unadorned.

i also have to bake the 2 cherry pies for thursday. i am going to two "old lady dinners" and i promised each of them a cherry pie. i use two kinds of cherries, one sweet and one tart, so they balance each other out. i take a lot of time and make a really elaborate crust for the top. it doesn't cost more and it makes the pies extra special.

but it takes time, which i am running short on right now.

have a warm day! stay away from the mall!

Monday, December 21, 2009

day late, dollar short

i have finished the christmas shopping! gifts, food, drink, all!

except for the stuff to make hasbrown casserole for DIL's xmas morning breakfast.

t wasn't intentional.

i promise.

so i get to go to the store- not walmart- after the party i am attending tonight.

go, me!

pax or paxil

i have purposely been avoiding the topic of chicky, the wifezilla, my daughter-in-law. i am trying to keep the peace. the kids are coming home from the visitation with their father. depending on the weather, they should be here wednesday. i am invited to xmas breakfast at their house. i am making hashbrown casserole.

for the entire family, i bought each of the children a few gifts, then i bought chicky a vera bradley bag and badge lanyard (this was purchased before i realized what a cunt she is). my son has a cookbook and NOTHING ELSE! i want to get him a nice wallet and hide some cash in it. this would require a trip to marshall's.

that may not happen.

i will be fake smiley cheery in her face.

i hope i get a nice gift for being so good!
UPDATE! I got a pair of pajamas that fit,  a hello kitty water cooler dispenser for my bedside table, a tabletop fountain with a zen garden and a candle all in one, and a make-up set from beauti-control i had asked my rep about a few months ago. she told me it wasn't available. i guess she and chicky had it worked out that it would be my gift. but she gave it to me later, on grandparent's day at itchy's school. i think it was jan. 25,

Sunday, December 20, 2009

lazy sunday

today i slept until 1:00, played on the computer and now i am making the dreaded trip to wal-mart.

yep, wal-mart, the week before christmas.

my family is coming over for a christmas dinner and this is the only chance i'll have the truck to get the groceries i need. my car needs a new power steering pump, so we are a 1 vehicle family for the moment.

i don't look forward to fighting the crowds. i may even use self-checkout to save time. i hate self-checkout, because i don't get a check from wal-mart and i don' t need to do their work. i may just get a crip cart, do my shopping and wait in the longest line there while i read the magazines.

oh fudge, the handicapped parking placard is not in the truck. so i get to park in east mongolia and walk to the store.

okay, i'm getting my butt in gear now.

watch out, wal-mart!

rehab- no, no, no

i just realized that although i am not a drug addict or junkie, my last few posts have been about drugs.

i'm taking up knitting, so no one gets the wrong idea.

or maybe cross stitch. this might get my message across.

Friday, December 18, 2009

6 degrees

remember the game "six degrees of kevin bacon"? i used to play it on line, before everything was cyber sex. i was good at it and i had a secret: i have a connection (or "degree") that gives me access to any movie star you could want to relate to. but who he is. that is my secret!

somehow our cocaine addled friend has managed to put us on the radar with the local police by coming to our house when he was too fucked up to drive home from his dealer's house. they followed him to our house, got his plate number, then i got a nice leisurely visit out at the mailbox by the narcotics squad asking me about our connection to the drug dealer- there is NONE!

so now i have a cell phone number to one of the narcotics agents. to use 24/7.

our "friend" is going to have to stay away, because he came by here early last night, when i was gone to dinner. then he went to the drug dealer's house. i don't like him making us a link in his horrible chain.

i have never had to tell a friend to stay away. i tried to be subtle tonight on the telephone but i don't think i got the point across.

is there a subtle, nice way to tell someone you care about to buzz off, when you really care about them but they are acting all doochy and causing you trouble?

did the kevin bacon refernce make you hungry? i am having bacon for breakfast! maybe a pound

Saturday, December 5, 2009

have some major issues going on right now. i am currently on an antidepressant so that i don't cry continually. i take the pills but i still cry.

root and chicky made some unreasonable and incorrect assumptions about me. the entire thing got out of hand. she decided i wouldn't be watching the kids anymore, based on the things she had accused me of falsely. she has also told them to stay away from me, because before they left for visitation with their father, neither of them would come near me. my cuddlebugs wouldn't come within 3 feet of me. i asked for hugs in front of her and got a quick half-a-hug from each of them. itchy did give me our secret hand shake when she hugged me.

contact with my son and chicky has dwindled down to nothing. but i am still getting them the great presents i had planned on giving them. she professes to be a big christian but she is acting very evil toward me. she turned into the bitch her parents warned me about...she's WIFEZILLA! yes, twice as bad as bridezilla because she's already married and doesn't have to pretend to like you anymore! the gloves are off!

i am just sitting back and taking my antidepressant, drugs, the very thing they accused me of. i had a bit of an unsteady gait a few weeks ago, but it was due to arthritic knees and an extremely cold day. i also had a toothache and couldn't get my words out right. so they say my speech is slurred. they assume i am taking copious amounts of drugs, when actually i was taking no drugs- hence my stumbling, because i was in pain when we met them at the restaurant. if i had been on drugs that night, i also wouldn't have had a toothache. so i should take drugs so that i'm not accused of taking drugs? that is just wrong on so many levels. regardless, i wasn't driving or watching the kids. she was supposed to, but she let them play in the arcade next-door. i never let them out of my sight.
she doesn't trust me to be alone with her kids. that's her perogative, but do it for the right reasons, not so she can offer the one-day a week baby-sitting gig to my son's best friend's wife and buy herself a friend in the process. god knows what has been said about me. i'm not missing the money, i was spending it to buy the ingredients for our big weely family dinner and stuff for the kids. my grocery bill theis week was $35 compared to $85 when i was cooking dinner and baby-sitting.

i have to not care or i stay in tears constantly. the antidepressant has slowed it down. one side affect is i am losing weight like a mofo! 7.5 lbs. in 2 weeks. i hope to lose 2 pounds a week while i am taking this crap.

i posted the marilyn monroe video in my previous post, because she may be on drugs.

anyway, my present to myself is going to be posting all the dirt here. where i can type as i cry, instead of sitting in the dark wringing my hands in despair.

be sure to come back, this could get interesting.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

no left-overs

i was contacted by an old friend a few weeks ago, after not seeing or hearing from her for over 5 years. i was glad to hear from her. but i was still hurt about things i will discuss later. i would do it now, but i want to sleep tonight and i will get overwrought and emotional if i think too much about it.

i invited her to thanksgiving. i ended up renting a car to pick her up 300 miles away, at my expense.

first, she didn't tell me that she was bringing a cat with her. a cat that my jack could sling around like a ragdoll.

then she lay around all day in bed, nude. she refused to bathe. the guest room still reeks. but she could walk fine when she wanted a cigarette. i have a no smoking policy, but i told her she could smoke on the porch. but she decided one night it was too much trouble.
she smoked in my house in the middle of the night.

it woke me up!

so i had to blast her for it. she apologized and said she wouldn't smoke inside anymore. but i can still smell it now, a week later.

she showed up 15 minutes late for thanksgiving dinner. after grace was said. i hadn't even set a place for her when she wasn't up and around at noon. so we squeezed her in and ate.

she ate like a bird at the meal. later she and my husband's cousin sat outside and smoked.

no one offered to help me with the dishes. it took 3 hours to get everything clean.

later that night, she got up and ate every bite of leftovers- EVERYTHING! i kid you not! she ate one and a half 9" X 13" pans of dressing. she ate an entire 1/2 turkey breast.

finally i took her home saturday, one week later. i couldn't wait to take her home. i hate to be a miserable shrew, but i hope i never see her again.

i miss the friend she used to be.

i also miss my leftovers!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

digging the sigg?

this is NOT a compensated post. no one anywhere gave me jack squat for this.

i recently crumbled and purchased a sigg aluminum water bottle. it wasn't the first aluminum bottle i ever owned, but it is the most expensive. $25 for a water bottle. and it'snot as if i am going to save that money by not buying bottled water, because i am not DUMB enough to buy bottled water. i do like to take water with me but i really don't need a $25 bottle to take it in.

it keeps water cold and i guess that is what it is supposed to do. but my cheapo bottles work just as well. plus i wouldn't cry if i lost a $1 bottle.

Monday, October 26, 2009

making memories and carving jacks

tonight we are going visit the kids.we are caving a pumpkin as a family project. i am bringing a caramel apple cake i made- i will post directions if it is edible- and we are picking up a few pizzas from the gas station.

i want itchy and scratchy to have good childhood memories, not the fuzzed flashes of psychoticism i retain. i want everything to be good when they look back on their younger days.

they will have pictures and trinkets to help recall the memories, and relatives who scrapbook, while all i got was a wad of stuck together clump of gummy polaroids.

so tonight i am making a carved jack-o-lantern. then i am having pizza ad cake with my grandbabies. and no one will scream and fight, no patrol cars will dispatched, and nothing precious will be smashed to bits o the pavement. it will calm and good.

or i'm killing somebody! don't fuck with granny!

UPDATE: never happened. chicky wouldn't answer the telephone when i called. i never saw my $5 pumpkin. next time, my pumpkin stays at my huse.

Friday, October 16, 2009

if the phone's not ringing, it's me not calling...

my husband and i have a friend who is an evil cocaine addict. one or the other of us stays pissed off at him and the other one ends up taking up for them. he always has a friend in someone at our house.
guess what?

we're both pissed at him at the same time. so he has no one to take up for him. his name is taboo in our house. mud, baby, mud.

he has no idea what he is missing. he has no one to care for him now. he has elderly parents, a distant brother and no options for a significant other.

his loss. thanks, dave chappelle. cocaine is a hell of a drug!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

bad start

i am very very sick, so i am having to sleep constantly (at least 20 hours a day). hopefully this is not the swineflu- H1N1.

chicky is still asking me to watch the kids, even though i am at death's door.

i will be back soon! don't forget me!

ciao for now!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

hello! my name is...

hi! i'm new here. thought i would introduce myself!

my name is lee. i live in mississippi. i am an aries and a bitch. i like cursing, reading and gardening. i don't work outside the home because i have severe arthritis.

my husband is bobo. he is an aries also and he likes nascar. he works at an auto service center.

my dog's name is jack. he is a a parson russell terrier- like a jack russell but meaner. bred to catch ducks. he likes pooping in the house and playing with his plastic bone.
my son is root. he works at an auto service center also. he likes motorcycles, cooking and napping.

his fiancee is chicky. she works at a hospital. she likes bitching, eating and napping. they are getting married on october 9. only one week away!

she has two children: itchy is a 6 year-old girl and scratchy is a 5 year-old boy. i love both of them dearly. they love me too, probably because i have candy!

i spend a lot of my time on the internet, looking for coupons and researching obscure facts. i am just a fountain of useless knowledge. i like coupons, because every dollar i can save is a dollar in my pocket. i am an old school frugalista!

we are victims of the housing crisis, as well being arthritis's bitch. we used to have a big 2-story house. when i got arthritis, i had to quit work and now i only get a portion of my previous salary. we moved because we couldn't afford the mortgage. plus i couldn't go up and down the stairs. i was showering at a friend's house because there wasn't a bathtub or shower downstairs. so we left.
after spending a horrible 8 months in a rat-infested shit shack on the highway, we found a very S-W-E-E-T house. now i have a 1-story, 3 bedroom, 2 bath brick house with a jacuzzi and a fireplace, on 2 acres with a pond, for less than my previous house note. it is currently lease-to-purchase, but when i win the lottery, i will pay it off. yeah, i am going to win the lottery. i just don't know when, soon i hope.

it gets boring out in the sticks. but it's quiet and there is not a lot of traffic or crime.

please visit me! i plan on updating frequently.

well, it's bedtime. sweet dreams to me!