i want to be the girl with the most cake!

have some major issues going on right now. i am currently on an antidepressant so that i don't cry continually. i take the pills but i still cry.

root and chicky made some unreasonable and incorrect assumptions about me. the entire thing got out of hand. she decided i wouldn't be watching the kids anymore, based on the things she had accused me of falsely. she has also told them to stay away from me, because before they left for visitation with their father, neither of them would come near me. my cuddlebugs wouldn't come within 3 feet of me. i asked for hugs in front of her and got a quick half-a-hug from each of them. itchy did give me our secret hand shake when she hugged me.

contact with my son and chicky has dwindled down to nothing. but i am still getting them the great presents i had planned on giving them. she professes to be a big christian but she is acting very evil toward me. she turned into the bitch her parents warned me about...she's WIFEZILLA! yes, twice as bad as bridezilla because she's already married and doesn't have to pretend to like you anymore! the gloves are off!

i am just sitting back and taking my antidepressant, drugs, the very thing they accused me of. i had a bit of an unsteady gait a few weeks ago, but it was due to arthritic knees and an extremely cold day. i also had a toothache and couldn't get my words out right. so they say my speech is slurred. they assume i am taking copious amounts of drugs, when actually i was taking no drugs- hence my stumbling, because i was in pain when we met them at the restaurant. if i had been on drugs that night, i also wouldn't have had a toothache. so i should take drugs so that i'm not accused of taking drugs? that is just wrong on so many levels. regardless, i wasn't driving or watching the kids. she was supposed to, but she let them play in the arcade next-door. i never let them out of my sight.
she doesn't trust me to be alone with her kids. that's her perogative, but do it for the right reasons, not so she can offer the one-day a week baby-sitting gig to my son's best friend's wife and buy herself a friend in the process. god knows what has been said about me. i'm not missing the money, i was spending it to buy the ingredients for our big weely family dinner and stuff for the kids. my grocery bill theis week was $35 compared to $85 when i was cooking dinner and baby-sitting.

i have to not care or i stay in tears constantly. the antidepressant has slowed it down. one side affect is i am losing weight like a mofo! 7.5 lbs. in 2 weeks. i hope to lose 2 pounds a week while i am taking this crap.





i posted the marilyn monroe video in my previous post, because she may be on drugs.





anyway, my present to myself is going to be posting all the dirt here. where i can type as i cry, instead of sitting in the dark wringing my hands in despair.





be sure to come back, this could get interesting.