Thursday, May 1, 2014

Part 1- Ways to Kill the Elf On The Shelf

As another holiday has just passed us by, I was party to a conversation about how glorious it is that there is no Bunny counterpart to Elf On A Shelf (EOAS). This gave way to ideas on how to take out the EOAS:

  1. Tie it to a July 4th rocket
  2. Dog toy
  3. hung by the neck from the ceiling fan chain
  4. Cut into bits inside a Pentagram
  5. Leave him on a sushi restaurant conveyor belt on a $1.99 plate. Someone will eat him, with wasabi.
  6. Let him hang from a rearview mirror before going through a carwash
  7. Industrial shredder
  8. Mulcher ( manly version of #7)
  9. Lawn mower
  10. Let Santa steal him and take him back home
  11. Stick him in a random box of Rice Krispies at the store
  12. Leave him next to the Keebler Cookies with a note explaining they are being forced to make cookies against their will, SEND HELP!
  13. Poke his head through a broken restroom lock, as if he were a peeper
  14. Stick him in a donation jar for a really bogus charity
  15. Mail him somewhere obscure, like the Smithsonian 
  16. Make a Bum Fight video of him getting his ass kicked by Flat Stan
  17. Zip tie to a growing sunflower and let him go see the giant with the Magic Beans
  18. Microwave- on popcorn setting
  19. Mail him to Dane Cook, who will do freaky stuff to him
  20. Use his as the birdie in a spirited game of badmiton

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