Wednesday, October 13, 2010

unfriended: friend or fiend?

it's no secret that my dil "unfriended" me on facebook after a disagreement. she told me it was a "social thing" and it was her choice to have only those who she wanted to be social with as a friend. i even send her a friend request with a semi-spology, something along the lines of "we don't have to be friends but we don't have to be enemies. i'm extending you the olive branch so that we can get along for the sake of our families and not cause them anymore hurt."

she declined my invite.

i don't really care about the facebook thing. i only started using it at her urging. there was an incident last year where she left some very disparaging remarks about me and i confronted her about it. she said she left her account logged in and her friends posted it as a joke. i was greatly offended, as anyone would be. she never apologized for her friends, did anything in the way of showing those were not her true feelings or removed the post. so the nasty remarks stayed there.

the fact that anyone knew anything about me tells me that she runs her mouth way too much to too many people.

back on point: i could care less about facebook. it's like an arcade of fun things and games. you can send little e-gifts to people. i have bonded with a few people i never got to know in high school. i am friends with bloggers i have read. i can take facebook or leave it. if it disappeared tomorrow, i wouldn't miss it. well, maybe for a day or two. then i would forget about it.

she reveres facebook like it were a religion, so what bothers me is the amount of hatred and vengenance she put into her decision to unfriend me. heck, her ex-husband is on her friends list and she claims her beat the stew out of her everyday for 2 years! my son has both of her parents listed a his friends, but it's too hard for her to just leave me as a friend and ignore my posts.

unfriending someone is a coward's way of managing conflict. tiff with someone? don't resolve it, just unfriend them. just cut them off cold. they don't matter anyway. just get them out of your life. i saw online a definition as: to unfriend someone is to silently tell them that you don't like them and hope they die, but that they die a slow painful death. very passive-aggressive, don't you think? that big "f" logo now stands for F U!

being that i am no longer her friend, i'm sure she will understand why there will be no gifts for her on her birthday, no nice designer handbag for her this christmas, no anything special or "friend-like" ever again.

remember, she's not my friend.

this became an issue today when her BOOTIFUL face appeared on my wall, via a tagged photo on my son's page. why should i do anything for anyone who is not my friend? the church i sometimes attend collects gifts for people in a nursing home, i'm sure the money i would have spent on her will be more appreciated by someone there. it will go a lot further and might actually bring joy to someone who isn't as spoiled as buttermilk. maybe they'll be my friend, even if they don't know me.

to avoid seeing her, i took it up a notch today.

i blocked her.

i can still access her page using a friend's account, so i can see photos of the grandkids if i desire. but i will no longer be subjected to her face randomly popping up on my wall and ruining my day.

i started to delete my account altogether, but that's not fair to me. i shouldn't penalize myself because she's being a horse's ass to me. i am by no means addicted to it, but if i want to play yoville or send a heart to a friend who is down, i should be able to do it. she can't dictate my actions.

by blocking her, i am being a friend: to myself.

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