i want a smartcar, but it seems as of this day, no one is giving me one.
i know mommybloggers are the hot snot right now, but what about those of us whose children are grown and not a criminal? nothing exciting happens. no one cares that he's 26, has a wife, a job, a mortgage and 2 kids. he's as boring as i am.
i need a baby. i could write about my beautiful glowing pregnancy. i could tweet during labor. i could post cutesy videoes and pictures of my baby making the gas-passing smile. i could post pictures with cute captions, so it would appear my child is doing the news and making snappy commentary. yep, a baby, that's my ticket to fame and fortune.
but somehow, if i were able to conceive at the age of 45 after 25 years of infertility, it would take a miracle of science. if i want this:
"i wub ooo, mama!"
i would end up with this:
"mom-may, somethin' stanks up in this joint!
my bad! grab me a fresh pamper!
warm up the butt wipes this time, woman!
hey, pop me out a boob while you're up!"
and besides, my imaginary baby seat wouldn't fit in my imaginary smartcar.