Tuesday, April 20, 2010

i need a gimmick...or a baby

i'm in a dilemma. i'm not sure what i'm doing here. i started out trying to do a frugal blog, but most of the things i do to save money are so automatic, i don't always realize that not everyone is as freaking cheap as i am, so i don't write about it.

i want a smartcar, but it seems as of this day, no one is giving me one.

i know mommybloggers are the hot snot right now, but what about those of us whose children are grown and not a criminal? nothing exciting happens. no one cares that he's 26, has a wife, a job, a mortgage and 2 kids. he's as boring as i am.

i need a baby. i could write about my beautiful glowing pregnancy. i could tweet during labor. i could post cutesy videoes and pictures of my baby making the gas-passing smile. i could post pictures with cute captions, so it would appear my child is doing the news and making snappy commentary. yep, a baby, that's my ticket to fame and fortune.

but somehow, if i were able to conceive at the age of 45 after 25 years of infertility, it would take a miracle of science. if i want this:

"i wub ooo, mama!"

i would end up with this:

"mom-may, somethin' stanks up in this joint!
my bad! grab me a fresh pamper! 
warm up the butt wipes this time, woman!
hey, pop me out a boob while you're up!"

and besides, my imaginary baby seat wouldn't fit in my imaginary smartcar.


  1. Well..you can conceive at 45, it's called egg donation. I did it. I have a child who's going on 9. 45 isn't too old to have a child. And yes babies do fit into smart cars:)

  2. Same here, kind of - my kids are teens and asked me specifically never to write about them, which I totally get, because if I were them and they were me (so to speak) I'd be the same way.

    And I love your writing - you are smart and funny and do not need a gimmick at all :)

  3. jwoap, i have two instant grandbabies my son got when he married their mother. i am glad now god didn't give me a baby, i can't imagine a baby in the middle of those two!

  4. lidian, thanks for the kind words. i think i love the virtual dime museum more than kitchen retro.


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