Sunday, November 11, 2012


it would seem i am one of the walking dead. it's the middle of the night and i am awake. i went to bed at 8:00 p.m. because i could barely keep my eyes open. then midnight, i'm wide awake. now it's after 3:00 a.m. in the morning and i've been watching the murder channel all night. people can be so mean to each other! actually heinous! i should know, i think i've seen every episode except the one i really wanted to see- the one about elizabeth turpin.

there are a lot of sex ads on for different lubes and other paraphenalia. who is it that believes the walking dead are making zombie whoopie so dang much? trust me, if you're up in the middle of the night, i doubt you're burning up the bed sheets the rest of the time.

i have decided i hate cricket broadband. since i have discovered youtube on my new computer, i burned up all my gigabytes. i will have to watch an episode of family only on tuesdays, when it used to come on in the '70s. hey, stupid cricket people, UNLIMITED means without limit!

i really need to get an adult cell phone and broadband card. this cricket crap isn't working. and i am jonesing without my craptastic '70s tv shows. a taste of honey is worse than none at all!

i should go to church tomorrow but it's a baptism service. i will be so tired in the morning i may skip. i hope i don't go to hell.

but i am an evil person. i am on facebook but i also have a fake facebook account, specifically for my first love from 9th grade. he sent me an invitation to the email i have had forever and i did some finagling to switch it to another email i made just for this purpose. i blocked him from my real account. you'd be surprised how many people will accept an invitation from someone they don't know, as well as how many requests i have received from people i don't know. a few well placed key words in the profile brought them in like moths to a flame. anyway, back to the boyfriend, he had a girl friend when i first looked, at least her page showed her engaged to him. then she stopped posting on his page and her page showed she was in a relationship. he never mentioned her. then when i signed up, he started sending me messages asked me to visit him, that he lost his one true love when he lost me, blah blah blah. he poured his filthy heart out. i never replied to his messages. ever. his page showed he was playing a lot of casino games and i got game requests from him. i sent him a few. i posted a comment on one of his crazy halloween posts and he deleted the entire thing. then suddenly, it showed he was engaged to his girlfriend. her page reflected this too. the funny part of all of it? he proposed to her at a golden corral buffet!


how fucking romantic is that?

at least he took me on real dates, to real expensive steak houses. not freaking all-you-can-eat buffets.

she gets my left-overs. which seems just as appealing as the piles of food at golden corral.

i feel vindicated. i made him feel as shitty as he made me feel oh-so-many years ago. so today i posted a message that i was single again, let the games begin! i hope his heart sank into the floor. i hope he feels a day late and a dollar short.

my evil mission is completed. i will probably delete the fake account this week.

the odd thing?

my fake profile has more friends than my real one! obviously my fake life is more exciting than my real one.

sad but true!

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