Pop! Crackle! Excitement!

My husband's parents died several years ago. He had an aunt who took him under her wing and treated him like a son.

She died today. She was 93.

My husband wants to send flowers for her service, but we really can't afford it. We didn't send flowers for my own mother's funeral, for goodness sake. I think we are getting a plant at Home Depot and adding a nice bow and card. If he insists on flowers, well, I do have my emergency credit card.

I had foot surgery Saturday. It went great. I got to go home Sunday. I have been laying around since then.

I will miss the Friday bible study in my neighborhood...again! They are only 10 houses away, but I can't sit up for long amounts of time, it causes so much pressure in my foot. I'm chilling on the pain pills. I might break out the bottle of wine I bought for Thanksgiving and never opened. It should be thoroughly chilled by now.

I had a crack head nurse at the hospital. I had the choice of IV drugs-which basically made me sleep so I wasn't in pain- or pain pills, which somehow keep me awake and give me energy but leave me in pain. I wanted the IV meds so I could sleep and she kept saying "But the pills are so much better!" Then she pulled a Nurse Jackie on me and cheated me out of my last shot before releasing me. I hope she enjoyed it!

It's New Years and I am watching 7th Heaven reruns on TV.

I live the good life!

I got my feelings hurt. On Facebook. By my pastor of all people. I posted asking prayers for my husband's loss of his aunt. The pastor always leaves little comments on every post. On every post except mine. I get the feeling he doesn't like me and Bobo as well as some of the monied members of the church. Oh well. God's gonna get him for it. Bobo is so enamored of this church we go to and that he went to at my urging. He goes every Saturday night. Now I want to drop out and be a pagan.

I'm not on fire for Jesus.

I did look at the Pagan churches website. It hasn't been updated in 2 years.

Looks like I might be going back to lighting candles under the Full Moon and burning pieces of paper with my wishes on them.

But the moon would never hurt my feelings on Facebook!

Christ Mass

Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate it! Have a warm winter to those who don't!

I have mentioned a board I used to post on, that was originally about the Duggar Family. It gradually evolved into a bunch of heathen bitches who mocked and ridiculed people of every religion. I stopped posting there in July, but I still lurk there. Sometimes I find things that pique my interest and I read the on my own.

So I go there this morning and what do I see?

"Merry Christmas!"
"May the joy of the Holiday Season bring you much peace and happiness!"
"Blessed is the day of Our Savior's birth!"
Someone even quoted the story of Jesus' birth in scripture.

I can only hope they all found Jesus, if just for 1 day this year. But being the hypocritical bitches they are, they will be back to hating on God tomorrow. Maybe they love only Baby Jesus, like the family in Talledega Nights. Maybe they don't like the Jesus who wear sandals, has a beard and looks like a hippie.

Their loss.

I am a Christian but I am not on fire for Jesus. I don't pray for good parking places or go into a trance when I am praying. God loves me, I love him and we have a good understanding.

I missed the Christmas program at church last night. I missed it last year. I think I missed it the year before.

I would like to be a better Christian but something inside me refuses to ignite.

I have been a Pagan.

I have been a follower of Eastern religion in general.

Heck, I was once one of those gung-ho Christians who went out witnessing and giving out Chick tracts. I even taught Backyard Bible Club, which is where they drop you off in ghetto with a gallon of Kool-Aid, a package of cheap cookies, your bible and a felt board.

It is the gung-ho Christian church that hurt my heart the most. I got accused of being a HO when I hadn't  even kissed a boy. Going to public school was enough to cement in everyone's mind I was the one giving it out for free. I stopped going to church. Little did they know, my mother turned down a full scholarship for me from 9th grade on. She told me at the time it was to keep me from getting stuck-up. I found out later it was because she asked for them to give one to my little ignorant half-sister. When they refused, she turned mine down for me also. I got all A's, my sister was a C or D student. Good reason to refuse to give the heifer a scholarship. But I was the one who missed out.

I am more comfortable being a Pagan with Buddhist with Pagan leanings.

If I ever admitted that, I would be immediately thrown on a million prayer lists and judged as being a false Christian. Even though the Bible says "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

So I have lots of people at church on my Facebook friends list. My husband and I are supposed to go a Bible study group next week that meets every other Friday just around the corner from me, about 10 houses away. I can see the house from my backyard.

I just go, I try not to make waves. I try not to be noticed.

I am a lukewarm Christian.

But today is Christmas. I saw my grandkids. They loved their gifts. I got a cute ceramic bank that looks like a Chinese takeout container. Bobo got a rod and reel. We got a $20 gift certificate to our favorite Chinese restaurant. I didn't buy gifts for anyone but the grandkids.

We stayed home. We bought a ham and a small cake. I made a huge corn casserole. We have good ice cream. We've got a bottle of wine.

I got more gifts this year than I have ever gotten, even though I got no one any gifts. In addition to the bank and restaurant certificate, I got a Soda Stream, a Miche shell for my purse, some really nice Bobbi Brown lip gloss, a Harley Davis Tervis tumbler, some huge fake diamond earrings, a cute pink can of mace and a kitty cat thing you use to stab evil people, a tree, a shrub, and a new case for my iPhone! Quite a haul!

And it is a bummer of a Christmas!

The Funk Rolls On

I went to my appointment at the butt crack of dawn yesterday. Despite the urgency the FP doc felt, the Ortho doctor said he would prefer someone else look at it. I am free to run amuck for Christmas, but my foot may be rotting off.

I have been very stingy with the pain pills, so I have enough to last me a while. I will have to go in and see the doctor again to get more, but since they are 5 minutes away and my co-pay is $5, it's not a big sacrifice to see him again.

I am supposed to go to lunch at Chickie's grandmother's house today. I have decided to make corn casserole. I have to get it in the oven in an hour so it can cook properly. It will come out of the oven hot, so I will just put a couple of towels down in the floor of the backseat of the car and when I get there, I will put a lid on it and put it in the carrier. I plan on sprinkling the cheese over the top the second it comes out of the oven, because it might get too rubbery if it has to be reheated. I am hoping the towels will keep it warm for the 1 hour drive to her house.

To be honest, I really don't want to go. I would rather just make a ham for us at home and stay here. I planned on just cleaning up the house and making a small meal for meal and Bobo, but Root texted me Friday that we were invited to eat with them. The fact they got the invitation before Thanksgiving and decided to tell us 4 days ahead of time doesn't sit well with me. Chickie is not to ever be trusted, so I feel she has a secret agenda. I have no gifts for anyone, I don't have my teeth yet and I just feel like if I go, it will be 9th grade gym all over again. I will be made to feel like I am the geek who has no social skills.

I may just stay home. I would like to see her family, but I am getting an uneasy feeling about this. I have a problem with her and while I love her family, I don't want to see her. She's gonna be all fake and I might SNAP! like a rubber band.

I am going to try to convince Bobo we don't need to go.

Just As Merry As Last Year

I spent Christmas last year in the hospital getting a toe amputated due to diabetes.

Looks like I will do the same this year.

My leg injury led me to the doctor's office today. They took x-rays. The doctor came in and told me my x-rays were not good.

They were bad.

I thought he meant they were defective and needed to be retaken.

No.

I am missing the majority of bones my left foot (the problem last year was the right). An infection has set in and eaten most of the bone away.

He made me an appointment with an orthopedic doctor. He couldn't get me in today, most of the clinics in my insurance network close at 1:00 on Friday. I go Monday at 7:15 a.m. He had to beg for that one- I heard it- hence the ungodly hour.

I was told to pack for the hospital and be ready to check in so they can chop off another toe.

Then my son called and they want to do Christmas Monday night at my house. I am also nvited to Chickie's grandmother's house for lunch Tuesday.

These are my only Christmas functions I have to attend.

I will try to keep my pending hospital admission up to Tuesday afternoon.

Hopefully I won't need to go to the hospital at all.

But I have a feeling of dread that checking into the hospital will become a regular Christmas tradition.

For a while, anyway. I only have 9 toes at the moment. Maybe eight after next week.

The upside? Free high speed Wi-Fi, good crushed ice and I.V. painkillers on a regular basis.

Gotta look for the silver lining!

Pray for me! I need my toes.

Holiday Funk

Over Thanksgiving, I went to Destin, FL. with a couple of ladies I know. I drove my car, but they paid the gas, bought all my food and paid my share of the condo rate. It was still cheaper to use my car than for them to rent one.

We ate at every delicious seafood restaurant and shopped at every outlet store there. I did all my shopping for the grandkids for next to nothing.

I did something stupid. I got my leg stuck in the bathtub. I was getting out and turned my left leg sideways to give me leverage. It got stuck. I was panicked. I ended up using shampoo to lube it out, but my ankle has been swollen and now my entire leg is in extreme pain. I couldn't get in to see my doctor because the other doctor retired and the one I see is taking on ALL the patients. I had to change doctors, which I hated to do, but I can't wait until the middle of January, I have already gone almost a month unable to put pressure on my left leg. I wonder if I fractured it or something.

Right after I got back, I had all my teeth pulled for dentures. When they open up again on Jan. 6, I will get molds made and eventually get dentures made. I picked out Liv Tyler's teeth. And I am getting very white teeth, the whitest they make. I mean, everybody wants white teeth and they will get darker eventually, so I am starting out with the whitest teeth possible.

I have no interest in Christmas. I have no tree, no lights outside, no shit. I am just a grouch this year.

Chickie still has not spoken or seen me, which means I haven't seen the kids or my on.

When I do see her, I am going to tell her to get out her bible and read Psalms 37:21 and then she can tell me how holy she is.