desires of the heart

i found a nice house. it is very cheap and is about 70 years old. it is in two levels, with the full house on top and a walk-out basement as big as the house with a wood-working shop full of cabinets. the master bedroom has a bay window seat with bookcases built in, all along the entire call. it has water access. it has two storage buildings. there is a fenced area where my dog can run.

but the best of all is a screened-in room that runs around two sides of the house. finally, a place to use all my wicker pieces in one place. i am going to make some astro-turf rugs to delineate the different areas. it needs painting bad! but maybe we can have them paint it before we move-in.

it felt like a home. everything i need is on one level. most of the floors are wood or laminate.

it's super cheap.

the note is half of what mine is currently.

i can see myself in it.

i can pay it off quickly. i will have lots more cash every month. everything will be good all the way around.

i got some nasty letters from a place we all hold near and dear to our hearts. i will make a call to them on friday morning, i don't want to ruin my week.

i had friends over last week for a memorial service that included a late night ash-scattering at a train depot by a dark moon.  i will write about it later, once i can process it. we also divided her possessions. i got some tarot cards and books. i had more, but it smelled musty. i threw it away. bobo is sick and i didn't want him sicker. i have enough to remember her by. i don't need possessions to remind me of her.

i hope one day that stabby feeling in my heart i get when i think of her will go away.

did i mention that our garbage service is shut off? our address does not exist in their system. they scan the cart and it doesn't exist. if they can't scan the can, they don't pick it up. i have to go to some office and i will be gone soon, so why bother?.i have a few ladies who have offered to let me bring over garbage when i see them. short term solution.

starting over...all over again!

i have been a slacker.

i just i am a slacker.

i am off the diet track too.

we had a ceremony for my friend and scattered her ashes. she is done.

i have to get on with life. i can live even if she is dead.

i don't have to be fat. i can lose the weight.

i am trying to cut out my painkillers and eventually cut them out all together. did i tell you she died of an overdose?

i am looking for a house. not as much fun as i thought!

i am packing too. i have too much stuff. i'm having to just throw more stuff in the sell pile. i am packing only the things i love. i am having a big garage sale in my own driveway. i hope i make some money. even a little would help.

i'm just in a blue funk!

and i don't have any dish-washing liquid for the dishwasher.

second chances

i'm ready to start blogging again on a more regular basis. i am going to be getting a house in tinytown, where i find myself driving to all the time.

my housenote goes down $350 or so LESS than i am paying now.

i will be saving a million dollars in gas, at least 1 fill-up or more.

i will be closer to the ymca, so i can go more often and get some of my lard butt melted.

i have the fun to go to house-hunting.

i have one month until i can get my mortgage. then i can look for a house. i have looked at some on-line and there seem to be a lot of little houses suited for us with laminate in all the room, or maybe a few have tile in the kitchens,bathrooms and laundry rooms. i am looking for something with everything on one level, no steps to manuever and hopefully a nice sunroom or covered patio or something like that. i crave an outdoor living area. i can't wait to get all my geegaws and lawn furniture together. instead of a rug, i am going to get a couple of pieces of astro-turf made into rugs and paint the inside of the ceiling sky blue and have white ceiling fans with clouds painted on them.

i can't wait.

i can't wait to leave the sticks.

i have to drive 15 miles to get a freaking popsicle where i am out now. i'll have to avoid doing that, that could get expensive quick. i vow to avoid starbucks at all costs.