Monday, April 18, 2011

hey again

i know i haven't blogged lately. i have a good reason.

my best friend died.

we had been friends since we were 12. god, that's 34 years! we were like sisters. in fact, before my sister got her mental illness/bipolar disorder under control, i called her the sister god forgot to give me.

she died sometime over the week-end, between april 8-10. her homemaker visited with her friday, then found her dead in her bed monday morning. she went peacefully and hopefully didn't suffer.

the only good thing to come out of this is that the person i have known longest on this planet and i have reconnected. we went to nursery school together. he is gay and has been with his husband almost as long as i have been with mine.  i have no problem with him being gay, we have always had a ton of fun together. my friend who died met him through me. they played at dating for a while he worked through some issues.

we did discover that she did some things that now seem a bit distasteful to keep us apart. that's how i lost contact with him. i think she was afraid that somehow he would become ungay and i would end up with him. i don't know. but she did go to great lengths to keep us apart, causing us both to have bad feeling toward each other and drift away. but we worked it out and we are cool again.

we have spent a lot of time on the phone together. we had 20 years of crap to catch up on. i told hm about how i terrorized my last boss. he knows i am not prejudice or anything, so when i say thing things like fairy or froot loop, he just laughs. because that's how he talks too. if you ever wanted a girl friend, he's your guy. i have decided to nickname him rider for my own purposes here.

i have missed my friend. several times i have picked up the phone and started to call her. but she won't answer. because she is dead.

i gave myself last week off of all responsibilities. i cried a lot. but i am better today. i can think of her without bursting into tears. i made a website for people to visit, write their memories and write letters and such. it has some of her favorite music on it. i've spoken with her mom whom i shall call queen and while we haven't actually addressed it, we both know she died of a drug overdose.

her mom has danced around it, but if it had been a heart attack or respiratory failure, her mother would have shouted it from the rooftops. it's just like the pink elephant in the room. we've made tentative plans to get together to scatter my friend's ashes, as well as those of her husband who committed suicide 7 years ago. they will always be together and i know that's the way she wanted it.

it's back to responsibilities this week. i have made a list of things that need to be done: letters to write, laundry to do, housekeeping that must be done before the crew of hoarders shows up at my door. i've spoken before about problems i had with a house i lost to foreclosure and i have a feeling it will be resolved in my favor soon. i'm trying to sort out the garage stuff as well, since our big garage sale is only 2 weeks away.if- and i know it will be- resolved in my favor, i will have things half-ready to move. i even have a house picked out. that's half the battle, right? i've picked out a real estate agent from church. she's someone who got her real estate license right when the market went bust and i feel better knowing that the commissions will go to someone who needs the money, rather than someone just adding more money to the stash in their mattress. she won't have to do much, just get us a showing and do the paperwork. i have a few in reserve, so if it's sold, we go on to number 2. big deal. when we get to number 5 on the list, i lose the pool. big whoop, we just join the ymca, right?

i've made sure that each house is in the right area, has at least 3 bedrooms/2 bathrooms, has a covered outdoor area so i'm not stuck in the house and is on one level. i didn't like a few of the countertops but those can be changed. nothing i can't live with. plus i will have a big surplus of cash each month since i won't have a housenote so i can renovate it as needed.

i'll be here, it just may be spotty until we get this crap worked out. but i'm here and i am okay.

i had the grandbabies yesterday. i put them to work. after church, we took bobo home, then after going to target, we went to lunch and then lowe's where we each picked out a 6 pk. of annuals. i need more, but i didn't want to get more than we could finish in the one day. they put on their playclothes, i got on my gardening togs- a pair of shorts and a ratty t-shirt. they weeded the entire bed of every weed, i transplanted a huge hosta to the middle and i showed them how to lay out the flowers before digging. we got everything in the ground and they were so please of what they did. when their mother picked them up, she was impressed with their efforts. i know what she will make them do next week! i had some iris bulbs in the back corners of the bed anyway which are starting to show some growth and i plan to get some more flowers to fill in. we bought yellow, orange and red yesterday, so i am thinking pink and white to fill in the bare spots. maybe some dusty millers.

then i get to go to work on the trellises. i am going with some scarlet and orange flowering vines, plus moonflowers for nighttime interest.

we've had some space issues with the neighbors. they threw a huge party and i had to listen to rap saturday night as they stood outside and drank their 40 ounce beers. they finished up by midnight or i was going to call the police. then sunday they decided to use my driveway as part of their estate. i do not like being part of a drive-through. if i happens again, i will say something to her. if it keeps on happening, i will have the police over to explain boundaries and noise restrictions to her. if she won't listen to me, maybe a badge will help.

i hope it doesn't come to that. but if it does, she asked for it. they may discover some of her "home-based business" is not quite legal. i know i didn't sign up to sell crack for her, so you can see my concern over her friends using my driveway. i want nothing to do with any of that, even though i don't plan on being here  very much longer. i don't want any mess, especially when i will have some BIG money soon. i don't need that kind of money seized by the state for her monkey business.

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