Monday, March 28, 2016
I haven't talked to my sister.
It started 30 years ago. My married yet separated sister got pregnant by someone other than her husband. A co-worker was infertile and had just aged out of being able to adopt.I hooked them up together and they worked everything out via an attorney. My sister soaked them for every dime she could squeeze out- rent, utilities, cable, phone, groceries, maternity clothes (several times). She continued to smoke although she promised she would stop. The sad thing is even though my sister got everything paid by this couple, she also got money from my parents for 1/2 of everything, so she made out like a bandit. After the baby was born, they even took care of her for 3 months.
I was the one who took him from the hospital to the attorney's office and handed him over to the adoptive couple. I cried the entire way.
I eventually quit this job because it became too much to see his picture on her desk and see him when the father would swing by with him.
Then it happened again, when my sister was no longer married but couldn't keep the baby because the baby daddy refused to marry her. So I called up the same woman and they had the same arrangement. Again she soaked them for every dime she could. This time, she gave birth in the state they lived in, so I never saw the baby girl because they could pick her up at the hospital themselves.
30 years later, I get a message from the girl on facebook. She doesn't want to meet my sister but she has some questions. So for the next 2 years, we chat. I tell her the basics, nothing too bad, just about her two sisters, how special it is that she and her brother are actually related by blood and not just adoption. I offered to facilitate a meeting between her and my sister but she was resistant. She said she didn't want to meet the bitch who had abandoned her. Ahe wasn't even ready to meet me.
This past New Year's Eve, the boy sent me a friend request. We chatted for 6 hours. I told him what I knew about his father. I even used my Google-foo and looked up the man's address and phone number. It was a pleasant conversation
Then he sent my sister a friend request. She called me and acted really haughty, thinking it was an old boyfriend of mine with a similar last name. I told her to call me when she was alone. She said she was with her husband and she could say anything to him.I told her it was the son she gave away. She began to sob. Then she demanded I block him and his sister, and asked me how to block them, she wanted nothing to do with either of them. I calmed her down and explained it would be better if she blocked them, not me.
30 minutes later, I got a loud frantic call from her. The mother of her son's baby had sent her a message that I was trying to keep them apart and had been saying horrible things about her. She called me a psychotic bitch and every name in the book. She hung up on me. A few days later one of her daughters posted the crap you saw in the previous post on FB.She never knew about her brother or sister being adopted out because my sister told her they had died at birth.
I had all my family members calling me to see if I was okay. All my friends were asking what was going on. About 50 people reported it for harassment. FB took their sweet time taking down the post. Everyone involved got put in FB jail. I used this time to block everyone except the boy and girl.
My sister called a few times. I didn't answer and the messages she left weren't really messages, just a loud blaring TV. She has stopped calling. My birthday is tomorrow. I don't expect she will call.
The person I am most disappointed in is the adopted daughter. I haven't heard a peep out of her .2 years and we never met. She and her brother both ran to meet my sister after the FB thing happened. But I have to remember I have no real place in all this. Maybe my only purpose for being on the Earth was to deal with this situation. But my part is done.
The drama is over.
And I won't have to share my birthday cake!
Posted by lee at 5:58 PM