Why I Hate Dane Cook

I am one of the few people on this planet who thought Dane Cook was funny. I watched his stand-up on HBO, Comedy Central and youtube. I also thought he was very sexy and sat through every vapid movie  he made. He has a hot body, I'm not denying that. I imagined he would be a cool person to befriend, one you could hang out with and nod in sympathy at his bad girlfriend stories. Maybe he would escort you somewhere if you asked him nicely.

So I decided to follow him on Twitter. I find his verified listing, click follow and get this message...

You have been blocked from following this account at the request of the user.

He doesn't know me. Out of over 3 million followers I have been blocked. I don't know if he's gotten me confused with someone else or I won a "Get Cock-Blocked by Dane Cook" contest I don't remember entering.

I've never done anything to him. Maybe he would accept me as a follower if I sent him a picture of my tits- or maybe that will make him go blind.

He went to the trouble to block me, or at least one of his handlers decided to- who knows. Maybe he had a dream that he should block me or danger would befall him- like a sub-plot of a Final Destination movie.

Someone took the time to block me from his account for some unknown reason.

I guess I should be flattered.

I think this is how stalkers get started.

Note that Dane Cook isn't doing anything to get the monkey away from his ear.

If you aren't old enough to get the significance of the above picture I posted of him, Google Richard Pryor, monkey and Q-tip.

Now you know why I hate Dane Cook.

I hate him almost as much as I hate Dell Computer Company. I would say they both suck equally.

All Off Schedule

Bobo and I ended up not going with Root, Chickie and the kids to the beach. There were several reasons:

• The last time we vacationed with them, Bobo and his bad back ended up on a futon. I got the air mattress. Which obviously had a leak because I woke up flat on the hard floor. Root and Chickie got the master bedroom, her parents usurped the other room and the kids slept on the sofa. I am too creaky to put up with that in this day and age.
• Chickie is still trying to use the kids to control me. If I didn't act perfectly to her UNSPOKEN standards, she would have me stop watching the kids. I finally told her last week, if she pulled that crap again, I wouldn't watch them after school any longer. She threw a fit, so now she has to get her brother to drive 40 miles each way to watch them for 2 hours twice a week. And she has to pay hm. She's hemmed and hawed around about me watching them again and I always change the subject.
• They only had it from 4 p.m.  Friday until 2 p.m. Sunday. They hadn't left by 2 Friday afternoon and it's a 6 hour drive.
• The dog...enough said!
• The final straw: the weather showed it was raining where they were. I couldn't fathom being stuck in the house with her for an entire day. I know that somehow the police and the EMTs would be involved.

So we stayed home. I am putting the money toward the trip to Destin I am taking the week of Thanksgiving. I imagine it will be lots of fun.

Root did buy me 5 lbs. of shrimp for $4 a pound. I peeled a bit yesterday and sautéed it in olive oil with garlic powder, onion powder and Cajun seasoning. I ate it with strong cocktail sauce. I look forward to eating shrimp all week. I am saving the heads and shells to make broth for gumbo. I found a big steak in the freezer, so I will be having surf and turf tonight!

I missed my wound care appointment last week, I just couldn't make myself go. I know I need to go, but I was just a wimp last week. The treatment hurts. But I made one for tomorrow and set my alarm so I will wake up.

I keep thinking about how nice the beach will be. Bobo will go to his aunt's house for Thanksgiving dinner, so he won't be alone. The women I am going with are two sisters and their sister-in-law. They are all friends. They shop and eat fresh seafood all week. They like thrift stores, not so-called antique stores were the prices are triple and it's still junk. They are all very casual. They do get dressed up for dinner Friday night. I have a dress I bought for the Root trip, so I am set!

I did order 2 new hoodie sweatshirts on ebay. I have lost my old hoodie, so I bought a black one and a pink one to replace it. You have to have a hoodie on the beach. I hope to lose enough weight to fit in my new jeans by then, the ones I have now are so ragged! I actually put the new jeans on once but they were too tight. Then I gained a few pounds back. So I have about 6 weeks to knock some bootie off. I am going back on the no carbs thing and hopefully those dang jeans will fit.

I gained weight because I was taking those strong antibiotics and they made everything I put in my mouth taste like crap. I should have used it to my advantage but I went the other way and kept eating, trying to get the taste out of my mouth. I have a few diet pills left, I might break them out.

I keep having a dream that I find a Louis Vuitton bag full of money and no ID. I know I would just turn it in to the police but in my dream, I go shopping and spend all the money on clothes. But I'm skinny! Then the police find me because her cellphone is in the purse and they use the GPS to track me. But the money is gone. I end up giving the police the purse but don't mention the money. I've had it a couple of times, and my mom has even been in a couple (there was a white carousel horse used as a logo on one of the stores, so I know it was her). I guess I will have to look up the dream on-line and see what it means. Also I will not buy a Louis Vuitton bag and fill it with money, just in case!

As Disney says, dreams can come true.

Another Perfect Week-end...and GONORRHEA!

I have developed some lovely ulcers around my ostomy stoma. I went to the doctor, who gave me  shot, 2 anit-biotics, pain pills- YEAH!- and a referral to a wound care center.

The wound care senter is cool. No problem there.

The shot hurt like hell and I have had this drug before. It helps keep the skin from rotting. They give it for anything from bee stings to leprosy.

Pain pills- just what the doctor ordered,

I look up the antibiotics on the internet. One is good for flea bites, malaria, anthrax and...

GONORRHEA!

So I look up the second drug. Flea bites, malaria anthrax...

AND THREE HUGE PARAGRAPHS ABOUT THE DEADLY GONORRHEA it will cure!

My husband picked them up at the drug store and the bottles were labeled incorrectly. I am supposed to take them in a specific order- 1 pink pill with a full glass of water, 6 hours later a pink pill and blue pill with a full glass of water, 6 hours later a pink pill with a full glass of water, 6 hours later both pills with a full glass of water. You get the drill. I found this out from the Internet.

I can only guess the pharmacist would have told me this info if I had picked them up myself. But since Bobo got them, I guess the druggist was afraid he would spill the beans that it would seem I am suffering from gonorrhea.

I told my best friend about this and we laughed over it. Then last night at church, he sent me a text: IS YOUR GONORRHEA FEELING BETTER? Remind me to never read any text messages in church, even before the service starts, m'kay?

I had read about this huge church garage sale that was to be Saturday. I actually got up early. Drive to the church, hoping I can find a close parking place. What I find is...an empty lot! I did hit a few sales and scored a garden hose reel, a big waterproof radio and a beautiful ceramic cross for my living room, all for $12! I was actually heading to home depot to but a hose reel for about $40, so I saved $28!

The cross kind of bugged me later. Did they go through the house and pick out stuff they could live without? Um, dusty silk flowers, tarnished brass plant holders, and oh, let's see, this representation of Jesus dying on the cross for my sins?

Oh well, I got a bargain for $2! Maybe God was sending me a message.

P.S. I promise I didn't hang it upside down! HAHA!