Christ Mass

Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate it! Have a warm winter to those who don't!

I have mentioned a board I used to post on, that was originally about the Duggar Family. It gradually evolved into a bunch of heathen bitches who mocked and ridiculed people of every religion. I stopped posting there in July, but I still lurk there. Sometimes I find things that pique my interest and I read the on my own.

So I go there this morning and what do I see?

"Merry Christmas!"
"May the joy of the Holiday Season bring you much peace and happiness!"
"Blessed is the day of Our Savior's birth!"
Someone even quoted the story of Jesus' birth in scripture.

I can only hope they all found Jesus, if just for 1 day this year. But being the hypocritical bitches they are, they will be back to hating on God tomorrow. Maybe they love only Baby Jesus, like the family in Talledega Nights. Maybe they don't like the Jesus who wear sandals, has a beard and looks like a hippie.

Their loss.

I am a Christian but I am not on fire for Jesus. I don't pray for good parking places or go into a trance when I am praying. God loves me, I love him and we have a good understanding.

I missed the Christmas program at church last night. I missed it last year. I think I missed it the year before.

I would like to be a better Christian but something inside me refuses to ignite.

I have been a Pagan.

I have been a follower of Eastern religion in general.

Heck, I was once one of those gung-ho Christians who went out witnessing and giving out Chick tracts. I even taught Backyard Bible Club, which is where they drop you off in ghetto with a gallon of Kool-Aid, a package of cheap cookies, your bible and a felt board.

It is the gung-ho Christian church that hurt my heart the most. I got accused of being a HO when I hadn't  even kissed a boy. Going to public school was enough to cement in everyone's mind I was the one giving it out for free. I stopped going to church. Little did they know, my mother turned down a full scholarship for me from 9th grade on. She told me at the time it was to keep me from getting stuck-up. I found out later it was because she asked for them to give one to my little ignorant half-sister. When they refused, she turned mine down for me also. I got all A's, my sister was a C or D student. Good reason to refuse to give the heifer a scholarship. But I was the one who missed out.

I am more comfortable being a Pagan with Buddhist with Pagan leanings.

If I ever admitted that, I would be immediately thrown on a million prayer lists and judged as being a false Christian. Even though the Bible says "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

So I have lots of people at church on my Facebook friends list. My husband and I are supposed to go a Bible study group next week that meets every other Friday just around the corner from me, about 10 houses away. I can see the house from my backyard.

I just go, I try not to make waves. I try not to be noticed.

I am a lukewarm Christian.

But today is Christmas. I saw my grandkids. They loved their gifts. I got a cute ceramic bank that looks like a Chinese takeout container. Bobo got a rod and reel. We got a $20 gift certificate to our favorite Chinese restaurant. I didn't buy gifts for anyone but the grandkids.

We stayed home. We bought a ham and a small cake. I made a huge corn casserole. We have good ice cream. We've got a bottle of wine.

I got more gifts this year than I have ever gotten, even though I got no one any gifts. In addition to the bank and restaurant certificate, I got a Soda Stream, a Miche shell for my purse, some really nice Bobbi Brown lip gloss, a Harley Davis Tervis tumbler, some huge fake diamond earrings, a cute pink can of mace and a kitty cat thing you use to stab evil people, a tree, a shrub, and a new case for my iPhone! Quite a haul!

And it is a bummer of a Christmas!