dismal

i hate this time of year. it's so grey, sad and dismal. it always reminds me me of 9th grade, when i accidentally on-purposewas not included in the induction ceremony into THE NATIONAL HONOR SOCIETY!

i remember it was around my mom's birthday, which was yesterday. i remember it would make her so proud and i could give her the ribbon and tassel thing and the plain little cedar jewelry box they gave us from the furniture store. i would give her my mini little perfect jewelry box, with a picture of me in a frame to go with it.

we got ready for school the day of the ceremony. i dressed out, so i would look nice. i got a film roll and flash for the instamatic and took to school. but she was acting all cooooool, putting on her rubiglo lowder, because the egyptian look was big that year, thank god, her last look often got her mistaken for a drag queen dressed as ziggy stardust- she's red headed and 6 feet tall! size 11 platform stripper clogs, dude! so she's put on what is escentually bare minerals in only 1 color (duh, weren't there two colors?) and adding eyewings with a black kohl pencil. she made a lip slick with elizabeth 8 hour cream and some of the rubiglo powder. she mixed it up in a small light bulb cover and used the lid from the lemon juice. she'd swirl it to perfect creamy perfection. i do the same sometimes.

but anyway, everybody's cool. she even makes me walk to school, even though i know she isn't going to work anyway, since the ceremony was at 8:30, i  knew she'd probably go eat breakfast at the Fros-ti Root Beer, a waffle house with a giant foamy root beer mug.

i went to school. assembly, with robes and candles and a big ceremony was set up. i could see the room beyond the stage set up with streamers and a punchbowl. refreshments was a good sign.

i looked for her as i sat down. i didn't see her but i sat on an aisle seat so i could sit with her because it's supposed to a huge surprise honor. but everybody knows they are getting in, they have been adding those numbers religiously. i was smug in my 4.2 gpa.

but she never showed.

and they didn't call my name.

i didn't get in.

i wa sure it was a mistake. i ran to the bathroom near the stage and cried silently. wait, you had to get a recommentation which goes before a committee, which i know i had several shoe-in refereces, like the teacher where i got a 102 average, as i never missed a problem and always got the extra credit. i had the teacher i sold my raffle prize from shop-ed day. a dog house, really duded out. she apporached me after the drawaing and asked me if i had a dog. no, but i guess i could get one. no, she wanted to buy the dog house and she made me take her to my grandmother's shit shack house. she saw where i came from, yet i was smart and clean. i sold it for $35. i gave her a good deal.

later