My Way Is Working!

I can get back into my jeans!

Letting Go, Leaning In and Paying It Forward...

Why won't people let you live the life you choose? I have been cool with my sister, considering she deprived me of being with my mother for the last year of her life and kept me from her funeral.I have tried to be nice but keep myself at a distance. She keeps saying "I want a loving caring sister, not a relationship full of hatred and cruelty."

She is toxic.

She wants what she wants.

We can get along as long as we are superficial. I have no desire to go any deeper to have any type of relationship. with her. She doesn't own up to what she does. She never takes responsibility for anything.

She claims she was raped 5 times and molested at a very young age. She claims she was gang raped. She was scared to tell anybody when it happened. But she wasn't afraid to tell lies on me? Give me a break. I wish she would stop pushing me.

I will never take more of her than I can accept. She can't make me.

I Do Nothing...I Mean Nothing

I went to the dentist Tuesday to make the last of the dental molds for dentures. I had hoped to go in yesterday and pick out my new rockstar smile, but instead it will be NEXT Friday! I thought I would be cheesing with them by then.So I will get teeth someday.

I cancelled 2 doctors appointments waiting on this none existent appointment that will HAPPEN NEXT WEEK!

I have done nothing. Well, I did manage to cripple myself by falling over a tower heater that I THOUGHT was where I wouldn't trip over it. Wrong. So my husband has gotten off his ass and done a shit ton of dishes, so I only have a few to do I plan on never using it again.

I crippled myself up enough to justify staying in bed most of the week. I have a BLACK bruise on what was formerly my good knee. I have to get up today and do laundry because I just realized my sheets stink.I guess I will go to church tonight. I will be sure to bring my cane.

I am going to the Y Monday, if for no other reason than to soak in the hot tub. I wonder how pissed they would be if I smuggled in a bottle of wine. I have my bathing suit, swim shoes and lock. What more do I need?

I am tired of driving Bobo around. He bitches about my driving.My insurance rate went up quite a bit and I had to go get new insurance because I got dropped. !15 years with these bitches and they drop me. Plus my radio tuner knob is broken off and they better fix it.

Life sux!

It's Working!

I have decided not to get gastric bypass surgery. I am doing it well on my own. I will have my hernia repaired though.

 I have lost 7 lbs. with my simple rules. I haven't been hungry. I have had a shit ton of water to help fill me up.

Our weight loss class hasn't been in session since forever. The leader doesn't go to our church anymore, so I will have to dive 7 miles further to get to our meeting spot. I was going to quit anyway. The Buddah/buda thing kind of sealed the deal.

I haven't felt like going to church. Flat out, I don't believe anymore, no more than I believe in anyone saving me. I got my feeling hurt when I was in the hospital 2 months and no one brought me a casserole or anything to eat. But let someone go in for 4 days and they fed her for a month. True Christian Love.

I don't think I will be going back to church anymore.

Under The Knife

I see a surgeon about fixing my hernia soon, April 10. I found out he also does gastric bypass/lapbands, so I may do that.

But if I get just the hernia fixed, I can exercise more. My clothes will fit. I won't look like I'm stealing basketballs at Wal-Mart.I can still bust up a Red Lobster Endless Shrimp.

 I can't do that with a lapband.

I just want to be normal.

I Come Clean...Dirty Little Secret

My husband had a car wreck in the middle of February. My car was badly damaged and will not be out of the shop until tomorrow. I've gotten used to the little Versa rental.

He had been drinking. He plowed into the back of somebody who didn't have any brake lights. He didn't get cited for the wreck. They took him by ambulance to the hospital here in town.

He had taken his daily medication early. Then right before he left, he took a swig of Moon Shine I didn't know bout. Somehow the half-life of the drugs got kicked off by the alcohol.

I have made it very clear I am disgusted with his behavior. He pled guilty. He has to go to classes, go on 90 days unsupervised probation and get his license suspended for 90 days. He is  racking up the fines.

I sold our second car. I gave him the money to pay his junk, with the agreement he pay me back triple the amount.

He is never driving my car again. Ever. I am having him pulled off my insurance.

Drunk driving makes me so angry. It's the lowest of the lows. My first question was whether anyone was hurt. No, they are fine. But they were cited for no having brake lights, so technically I could sue them (as suggested by the judge). But I'm not.

He is applying for several jobs close to the house. I can drive him and pick him up.

He lost his visitation rights to my bedroom, if you know what I mean.

I'm about ready to file divorce. I have to go to this legal clinic to become administrator of my mother's estate. I just wanted to find out some answers to a few questions. But they want an administrator to speak with. The woman at the legal clinic feels like they are afraid I am going to sue over a few tings I discovered in her medical records. She says it sounds like they want an administrator to handle the settlement money. I might ask about a divorce while I'm there.

I'm tired of rescuing people. I need someone to take care of me.

I need someone to love and respect me.

I lost an hour somewhere...

Why does it seem like when the clocks go back an hour, the day sucks? I hate this day. I need to grocery shop. Too much trouble. I think  I will just use my Nutri-Bullet and throw all the fruit in there for dinner,